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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
Mmhm. And you are sharp, and sweet—
[ He stretches out, head to toe, and settles his arms down around By’s shoulders with an air of self-satisfaction. ]
—and funny, and thoughtful, and—solid. I don’t know how else to say it. The opposite of insubstantiality. There is so much to you.
I’ll stop. [ Generously. ] But if your spymaster tries to say there is no better use for you than being drunk, I’ll find him, and I’ll insult him within an inch of his life.
[ He stretches out, head to toe, and settles his arms down around By’s shoulders with an air of self-satisfaction. ]
—and funny, and thoughtful, and—solid. I don’t know how else to say it. The opposite of insubstantiality. There is so much to you.
I’ll stop. [ Generously. ] But if your spymaster tries to say there is no better use for you than being drunk, I’ll find him, and I’ll insult him within an inch of his life.
[ Bastien would never ask By to give it up. Not now, not in Denerim. Not unless he wanted to first. There’s interest in his eyes, but it’s cautious, and it doesn’t cross the line into hope. ]
You think so? I suppose that’s what we’re doing now, almost. You still have your—
[ A little gesture, hand against By’s spine. He knows what he has. ]
You think so? I suppose that’s what we’re doing now, almost. You still have your—
[ A little gesture, hand against By’s spine. He knows what he has. ]
[ For a moment, a flicker, the interest recedes, replaced by a little bit of fear. Old childhood worries. Bastien’s put a lot of time and effort into ensuring he’d never wonder whether he could afford to eat.
But the way Byerly is looking at him—he can’t douse that. He doesn’t want to. For By’s sake and for his, for the life he used to want and still does when he isn’t feeling small and trying to be realistic.
He shifts into his side and squirms down to be face to face again. ]
I have money. From selling my shop in Val Royeaux, and I’ve saved nearly all of what Riftwatch pays me. It’s not enough for forever, but it would give us time to figure things out.
But the way Byerly is looking at him—he can’t douse that. He doesn’t want to. For By’s sake and for his, for the life he used to want and still does when he isn’t feeling small and trying to be realistic.
He shifts into his side and squirms down to be face to face again. ]
I have money. From selling my shop in Val Royeaux, and I’ve saved nearly all of what Riftwatch pays me. It’s not enough for forever, but it would give us time to figure things out.
[ Bastien smiles, but he says, ]
I couldn’t do that.
[ Simple. Light. No explanation—it’s not By’s fault he’s a nobleman with a noble wife and a noble mistress, or that Bastien feels obliged to be deferential to their wishes and tentatively semi-formal at the least in their presences, and that living on their charity would make that ten or twenty times worse. There’s nothing By could do about it. They all are who they are. So there’s no need to get into it.
He nestles his forehead in close enough to rest against Byerly’s. ]
You could, though, of course. That might be enough to keep you in brocade.
I couldn’t do that.
[ Simple. Light. No explanation—it’s not By’s fault he’s a nobleman with a noble wife and a noble mistress, or that Bastien feels obliged to be deferential to their wishes and tentatively semi-formal at the least in their presences, and that living on their charity would make that ten or twenty times worse. There’s nothing By could do about it. They all are who they are. So there’s no need to get into it.
He nestles his forehead in close enough to rest against Byerly’s. ]
You could, though, of course. That might be enough to keep you in brocade.
[ Bastien remembers Byerly’s little ghost in the Crossroads, as tattered as many of Bastien’s unkempt friends in the streets of Val Royeaux. More tattered than Bastien, whose father occasionally had fits of guilty paternal instinct and mended and tailored every article of clothing in their cramped little room.
He bumps their noses together, in place of a kiss. ]
No scraping. Not like that. If we can’t come by your clothes honestly, we’ll come by them dishonestly and do some extra good deeds to make up for it.
[ His fingers wriggle, playing back. ]
Enough about the money. [ He’ll put numbers together later. ] Say we can do anything. What do you want to do?
He bumps their noses together, in place of a kiss. ]
No scraping. Not like that. If we can’t come by your clothes honestly, we’ll come by them dishonestly and do some extra good deeds to make up for it.
[ His fingers wriggle, playing back. ]
Enough about the money. [ He’ll put numbers together later. ] Say we can do anything. What do you want to do?
Edited 2022-02-08 04:35 (UTC)
[ Byerly rubs his nose against Bastien's gratefully. His certainty...helps. And that enough about the money. If anyone will make it work, practical, steady Bastien will make it work. ]
I want to... [ He drums his fingers lightly on Bastien's stomach. ] I want to find the people who are trapped in corners, and help them get out. People who don't have power. It's what I wanted out of what I do now, but - What I do now, without having to worry about making sure that our side wins. Nothing like that.
I want to... [ He drums his fingers lightly on Bastien's stomach. ] I want to find the people who are trapped in corners, and help them get out. People who don't have power. It's what I wanted out of what I do now, but - What I do now, without having to worry about making sure that our side wins. Nothing like that.
Monsieur l'âme héroïque.
[ Silly—all the epithets he trots out are, genuine feeling wrapped in teasing so no one has to feel too awkward about it—but Bastien whispers this one, eyes bright in the dark. His turn to wear all that infatuation on his face.
It will happen. It will happen if he has to clean boots after all to fund it. (He won’t have to, though.) ]
There are so many people whose lives don’t matter to one side or another to begin with.
[ Silly—all the epithets he trots out are, genuine feeling wrapped in teasing so no one has to feel too awkward about it—but Bastien whispers this one, eyes bright in the dark. His turn to wear all that infatuation on his face.
It will happen. It will happen if he has to clean boots after all to fund it. (He won’t have to, though.) ]
There are so many people whose lives don’t matter to one side or another to begin with.
Exactly so.
[ He sets his chin on Bastien's chest, so he can gaze up into those loving eyes. So that he can stare with all infatuation right back. ]
Both lowborn and high. Rather like the Black Fox, honestly. Though likely with a bit less style. In my experience, truly helping people involves fewer daring swordfights poised above waterfalls, more methodically writing notes.
[ He sets his chin on Bastien's chest, so he can gaze up into those loving eyes. So that he can stare with all infatuation right back. ]
Both lowborn and high. Rather like the Black Fox, honestly. Though likely with a bit less style. In my experience, truly helping people involves fewer daring swordfights poised above waterfalls, more methodically writing notes.
If we pass a waterfall we can have a sword fight for ourselves. At the bottom, though, Not the top. [ And in case he feels at all babied or embarrassed about his fear of heights, Bastien adds, ] And not during thunderstorms, [ for his own sake. ]
[ He combs his fingertips through By’s hair. ]
And you can teach me that shorthand of yours. For the notes. Or if it is some Fereldan spy secret, we can come up with our own.
[ He combs his fingertips through By’s hair. ]
And you can teach me that shorthand of yours. For the notes. Or if it is some Fereldan spy secret, we can come up with our own.
[ Bastien squirms into range to give him one kiss, long and lazily handsy, that means he’s happy.
When he stops, he says into By’s mouth, ]
I want to write.
[ A little bashful, as he settles back onto the pillow. He’s not used to saying I want anything. But By having a dream he’s willing to take risks for—it’s emboldening. And it’s important to him, to have something of his own. ]
I want to help you with this, and I want to write.
When he stops, he says into By’s mouth, ]
I want to write.
[ A little bashful, as he settles back onto the pillow. He’s not used to saying I want anything. But By having a dream he’s willing to take risks for—it’s emboldening. And it’s important to him, to have something of his own. ]
I want to help you with this, and I want to write.
I think, [ a little haltingly, ] both? That’s arrogant.
[ He pushes a finger against By’s front teeth. Half to stave off any argument that it is not arrogant; half because he’s thinking, with a fraction of his brain, about that evening a few years ago, when Byerly felt up his teeth and Bastien first (sort of, indirectly) propositioned him.
He revises to, ] Pamphlets. Mostly. If we are out there finding people who are being hurt, maybe I can write about some of it. When it’s the rules that are wrong.
But a novel for fun. For myself.
[ He pushes a finger against By’s front teeth. Half to stave off any argument that it is not arrogant; half because he’s thinking, with a fraction of his brain, about that evening a few years ago, when Byerly felt up his teeth and Bastien first (sort of, indirectly) propositioned him.
He revises to, ] Pamphlets. Mostly. If we are out there finding people who are being hurt, maybe I can write about some of it. When it’s the rules that are wrong.
But a novel for fun. For myself.
If they’re good.
[ Hedging is habit, but really, he’s never felt so encouraged in his life. ]
Maybe I’ll start now. Working on it, I mean. Get my first mediocre effort out of the way so I can move on to a better one faster.
[ He tugs on By’s lower lip in parting and then leaves his teeth and mouth alone. ]
Will you wait until the war is over to tell your spymaster to— [ kiss your ass, is where that sentence was headed, but it occurs to him it might not be that easy. ] Will they let you just leave like that?
[ Hedging is habit, but really, he’s never felt so encouraged in his life. ]
Maybe I’ll start now. Working on it, I mean. Get my first mediocre effort out of the way so I can move on to a better one faster.
[ He tugs on By’s lower lip in parting and then leaves his teeth and mouth alone. ]
Will you wait until the war is over to tell your spymaster to— [ kiss your ass, is where that sentence was headed, but it occurs to him it might not be that easy. ] Will they let you just leave like that?
No one is like the Crows.
[ That doesn’t mean they’ll let anyone leave without issue. But Byerly sounds confident. And if they need to hide a little, that won’t be so bad. They could grow beards. ]
And we are going to save the world. They will have to give you some leeway for that.
[ That doesn’t mean they’ll let anyone leave without issue. But Byerly sounds confident. And if they need to hide a little, that won’t be so bad. They could grow beards. ]
And we are going to save the world. They will have to give you some leeway for that.
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