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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
[A number of days after The Great Lyrium Experiment Debacle, a small box and a note is left with Benedict and ultimately conveyed to Byerly's desk. Inside the small box is a modest collection of small vials, each containing some sort of excessively treacly syrup and bearing labels such as chocolate and raspberry and pomegranate and mint and so on. The accompanying note reads:]
[This is all printed in a very logical and patient hand. At the bottom, scrawled much more hastily and in a slightly different tint which suggests it was added later:]
Ambassador Rutyer,
Some time ago, Provost Stark described the ideas of coffees which were also desserts to me. Seeing as you are attempting to relegate yourself away from certain substances, I supposed you might be a willing subject for this experiment if not the other. I don't have coffee, but I trust you will be able to acquire some. Best of luck.
Unrelated (these are not poison), I am soon to make my way to Orzammar for a study of enchantments on behalf of Research division. I would like to know if you and the Scoutmaster ever came to a ready conclusion for what substance members of Research ought to carry on their persons in order to safeguard Riftwatch's secrets. I have attached a list of poisons which my readings suggest may suit.
Please advise.
Sincerely,
W. A. dF.
[This is all printed in a very logical and patient hand. At the bottom, scrawled much more hastily and in a slightly different tint which suggests it was added later:]
P.S. And if you mean to be made miserable by any part of this when I am merely attempting to be kind and respectful, I will be extraordinarily cross.
[ Byerly sends back the list of poisons to Wysteria, with many struck out. And, along with the strikeouts, there are annotations left - painful for one, dosage is quite large in volume and hard to conceal for another; another is corrosive - hard to store. It leaves two toxins behind on the list, which he's underlined in evident approval.
He deals with that list first, of course, before he turns to the note. Getting into the business of spycraft - That's easier by far than getting into the business of - this odd little friendship, whatever it is, between Wysteria and himself.
But he does write in reply: ]
Madame de Foncé
[ And the accent aigu above that e is given an extra sort of flourish that might be a little mocking or might just be fancy. Who can tell with Byerly Rutyer? ]
I am much obliged to you for this. I have already brewed a cup and plied Bastien with it; he has declared it quite to his taste, and I myself must agree. I did make the dreadful mistake, however, of brewing a second cup for myself and making use of both the mint and the orange; this, I disrecommend most heartily. It makes for a most dreadful muddle of flavor.
I will provide a follow-up evaluation in several weeks based upon the quality of the syrups in coffee; for the time being, I enclose a ranked list of the toothsomeness of each one in isolation.
Your servant,
The Scoundrel Byerly Vlad Rutyer
P.S. What does the "A" stand for?
[ The three papers are sent off together in an envelope sealed with the official ambassadorial wax (an absurd pretense for a personal note): all together, his letter, the list of poisons, and the ranking of the syrups. ]
He deals with that list first, of course, before he turns to the note. Getting into the business of spycraft - That's easier by far than getting into the business of - this odd little friendship, whatever it is, between Wysteria and himself.
But he does write in reply: ]
Madame de Foncé
[ And the accent aigu above that e is given an extra sort of flourish that might be a little mocking or might just be fancy. Who can tell with Byerly Rutyer? ]
I am much obliged to you for this. I have already brewed a cup and plied Bastien with it; he has declared it quite to his taste, and I myself must agree. I did make the dreadful mistake, however, of brewing a second cup for myself and making use of both the mint and the orange; this, I disrecommend most heartily. It makes for a most dreadful muddle of flavor.
I will provide a follow-up evaluation in several weeks based upon the quality of the syrups in coffee; for the time being, I enclose a ranked list of the toothsomeness of each one in isolation.
Your servant,
The Scoundrel Byerly Vlad Rutyer
P.S. What does the "A" stand for?
[ The three papers are sent off together in an envelope sealed with the official ambassadorial wax (an absurd pretense for a personal note): all together, his letter, the list of poisons, and the ranking of the syrups. ]
[ Through laughter, ] C'est mon garçon. They will love you.
[ Perhaps his nephews could have lessons, too, Bastien thinks, and puts it with all his other hopes. Quietly. Until there's word from Gwaren, every mention will have unhappy caveats.
Instead, he gives him a kiss on his shoulder. ]
I love you. If I deserve more than the world, you deserve two. We'll have to get you the moons.
[ Perhaps his nephews could have lessons, too, Bastien thinks, and puts it with all his other hopes. Quietly. Until there's word from Gwaren, every mention will have unhappy caveats.
Instead, he gives him a kiss on his shoulder. ]
I love you. If I deserve more than the world, you deserve two. We'll have to get you the moons.
[The reply comes by way of a brief note left in his assigned mail cubby rather than conducted personally to the Diplomacy office. It's not in an envelope, but is rather simply folded closed and sealed with a little slit tab of the parchment to keep it closed. It (succinctly) reads:]
Ambassador Rutyer,
Thank you for your report. With respect to the timing of further evaluation, would advise not letting the syrups stand for longer than a month. They may go off.
Sincerely,
W. Anathyme dF.
[ He does smile a bit at that. He'd have preferred something verbal, of course, at the end of the day - because he's a much better talker than he is writer, and Wysteria's style is damnably hard to read tone into. And when you're talking to someone, you can pluck and prick at them till they're too aggravated to stay dishonest...Though he supposes that's what got him into trouble to begin with, at least in part. But Anathyme is a charming gift.
(Horrible name, though. Maker.)
The next note is nearly as absurd in its informality as the prior was in its formality - dashed off on the back of a letter from a local merchant begging for Riftwatch's help acquiring salt. ]
In light of this, have chugged the pomegranate straight from the bottle. Now have terrible stomachache and sweats. Not poison??
[ Then, because they're staying honest... ]
(Joking. Will it help if they're kept in the cold?)
(Horrible name, though. Maker.)
The next note is nearly as absurd in its informality as the prior was in its formality - dashed off on the back of a letter from a local merchant begging for Riftwatch's help acquiring salt. ]
In light of this, have chugged the pomegranate straight from the bottle. Now have terrible stomachache and sweats. Not poison??
[ Then, because they're staying honest... ]
(Joking. Will it help if they're kept in the cold?)
[On a similar piece of paper as that second informal note, folded and pretend sealed in the same fashion:]
Ambassador,
Likely not poison, although I am neither an alchemist nor a cook.
(Regarding the cold, I've no idea. See above. You're welcome to include various storage methods in your experimentation. Try not to make yourself wretchedly ill.)
Sincerely,
W.A. dF.
P.S. This merchant asking for salt seems like he's being very cheap.
Dreadfully so. But I did help him; it will be good to have him in my debt. His wife is great friends with a certain noblewoman of Ostwick, & you see how it goes from there.
This is much of my job - following tangled strings to find the knots, then giving a little tug. Odd work.
How go your own experiments? Regrets again for the dreadful kerfuffle, and apologies for my own contribution to it.
This is much of my job - following tangled strings to find the knots, then giving a little tug. Odd work.
How go your own experiments? Regrets again for the dreadful kerfuffle, and apologies for my own contribution to it.
[ For a moment the silent oh and beginning of a full-body melt can probably be felt, the way they're sitting, but the joke startles him into laughter and pulls him back from the edge of turning into goo and dripping all over the floor. ]
And similarly pockmarked, [ is a gross exaggeration, ] and inhabited by whales, [ is a Moonlight on the Feast of Shadows moon-whale joke for Thedosian nerds and, also, a dick joke. It is a accompanied by a light and cheerful grope. ]
And similarly pockmarked, [ is a gross exaggeration, ] and inhabited by whales, [ is a Moonlight on the Feast of Shadows moon-whale joke for Thedosian nerds and, also, a dick joke. It is a accompanied by a light and cheerful grope. ]
Ambassador,
Well enough. Mister Dickerson will be leading the effort with respect to testing lyrium in my absence, though I mean to deliver an assessment of my own place in it before I go. Your apology is accepted. I don't anticipate further kerfuffles, dreadful or otherwise.
Best of luck with the merchant's wife's noblewoman friend in Ostwick.
Sincerely,
W.A. dF
Well enough. Mister Dickerson will be leading the effort with respect to testing lyrium in my absence, though I mean to deliver an assessment of my own place in it before I go. Your apology is accepted. I don't anticipate further kerfuffles, dreadful or otherwise.
Best of luck with the merchant's wife's noblewoman friend in Ostwick.
Sincerely,
W.A. dF
[ A hesitation. He debates this. But, finally: ]
Madame.
[ He just knows this is going to go terribly. ]
Forgive my intrusion, and I hope I am not bothering you. But I did just receive your latest missive, and - I am safe in the presumption, I believe, that you have rather little experience with narcotics.
Madame.
[ He just knows this is going to go terribly. ]
Forgive my intrusion, and I hope I am not bothering you. But I did just receive your latest missive, and - I am safe in the presumption, I believe, that you have rather little experience with narcotics.
[Her reply, when it comes, has the prim air of a young lady who has been anticipating a scolding since penning her reply and has therefore thought out all her counter arguments ahead of time. And will now proceed to supply them all in a single sentence.]
That is correct, Mister Rutyer. However I have an excellent constitution, and have consulted a knowledgeable source for the correct dosages, and will indeed for the entire duration. There is practically no danger beyond the inherent one.
That is correct, Mister Rutyer. However I have an excellent constitution, and have consulted a knowledgeable source for the correct dosages, and will indeed for the entire duration. There is practically no danger beyond the inherent one.
[ A little dryly: ]
No danger beyond the inherent one.
[ But he's not here to point out when she's blustering. He's here to provide some measure of something like help. ]
My concern is a bit less for your physical well-being and a bit more for your - Well. Many of the tales you doubtless heard of the madness induced by drugs and drink were exaggerated, but that doesn't mean they were without truth.
No danger beyond the inherent one.
[ But he's not here to point out when she's blustering. He's here to provide some measure of something like help. ]
My concern is a bit less for your physical well-being and a bit more for your - Well. Many of the tales you doubtless heard of the madness induced by drugs and drink were exaggerated, but that doesn't mean they were without truth.
Maker, don't call me sir. Especially not when I'm providing advice based on my sordid past. - And semi-sordid present.
[ Said jokingly, but...Well, it's as Bastien identified. He's embarrassed by it. When he was playacting that being booze-soaked and frequently out of his mind was...what, some grand performance? a piece of ongoing experimental theater with a single dreadful ham constantly on stage? a joke? - it was easy enough to wrap it all up in simple irony. But now that he's cracked the door to it being, perhaps, something that was a bit ruinous for him, shame comes in as well. And while shame has always been Byerly's companion, from childhood itself, he does detest that old friend of his. ]
The point is - They are less a poison to the body than they are a poison to the mind. So I want to ensure that you are willing to risk that for this. Willing to risk your mind.
[ Said jokingly, but...Well, it's as Bastien identified. He's embarrassed by it. When he was playacting that being booze-soaked and frequently out of his mind was...what, some grand performance? a piece of ongoing experimental theater with a single dreadful ham constantly on stage? a joke? - it was easy enough to wrap it all up in simple irony. But now that he's cracked the door to it being, perhaps, something that was a bit ruinous for him, shame comes in as well. And while shame has always been Byerly's companion, from childhood itself, he does detest that old friend of his. ]
The point is - They are less a poison to the body than they are a poison to the mind. So I want to ensure that you are willing to risk that for this. Willing to risk your mind.
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