Because they both got killed right before I came here and I don't know how to handle still being mad at them for stupid shit that doesn't matter any more.
Abby struggles against it but it has to be said, there's no holding back. When she speaks it's through gritted teeth, spat out like poison.) She's the one who killed them.
(... And?) I tortured somebody she loved to death, so she came after me and my friends. I'm the only one left.
Twenty-two. (Far too young to have experienced all that. Abby feels numb. It doesn't even occur to her to throw the fucking crystal out the window and end the whole conversation, she's just frozen in place.)
I told you I didn't want to talk about it. (It's all she can think to say. She has a bad feeling that she's put Byerly right off of her, in a big way. It fucking sucks, but this is who she is.)
Fair. (It is at least a nod to how well her and Ellie are handling it that he didn't expect anything like the answer he got.
Quietly,) ... Trying to be, yeah. We made a truce when I got here. (And it's going better than Abby had ever thought it would. Almost too good. Soup demands that she add,) I don't want to get into it with her any more, I'm done with that, but- it's hard.
(Like being drowned, while told to take deep breaths.) Makes me feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes.
[ She's sitting on the edge of the bed when he comes home, turning an opened envelope with delicate precision in her fingers, the muted worry in her eyes making them more sea than sky. And she glitters.
It's been a while since Alexandrie has looked like this: truly put together, as if she'd sat with Marie at the mirror for hours moving every hair into place one by one. Truly put together, and truly Orlesian; for the first time since her marriage, her gown has nothing of Tevinter in it.
She stands when he enters. Then thinks better of it and sits. Smiles.
It trembles a little at the edge. ]
I have to go home. To Val Fontaine.
[ Every part of her is still save the envelope, turning again in her fingers. It's nervous, birdlike, the same way she picks at her skirts, the bedcovers, the little gems and beads on her bodice. The way she fusses with his clothes, his hair. ]
I know nothing about the circumstances that caused such violence between you. To judge you for that, based on incomplete information, based on no knowledge of where you came from - That's not my place. To say the least.
The Queen intends no malice towards magic-users. Truthfully, she intends nothing at all towards magic-users - there are far greater issues at stake than meddling with one person.
But isn't that precisely why it would put me in danger? Because I would just be thought of as any mage and treated so, despite the fact that I'm most certainly not one. Not in the sense that you would think of it, in any case. Everyone is always clanging on about how dreadful that would be.
[Technically, no one can even prove she's a Rifter anymore—]
That's not the point. I want to know what you're imagining you'll tell— whoever it is you tell exactly. You don't speak with Queen Anora directly, do you?
[How do spies work. Surely there's some sort of complicated string of contacts like in the clever little books she sometimes reads.]
[ That's absurd enough that he gives a huff of something approaching laughter. Without amusement - this is a grim discussion - but. ]
Certainly not. I'd hardly be able to play a convincing scoundrel if the Queen herself were seen to keep my company.
But it is rather the point. I am asking if there is a version of this tale, which is true, which you would not mind finding its way to others' ears.
[ Has Wysteria worked with enough lawyers, in her real estate matters, to be able to imitate their twisty minds? Perhaps not. Especially not in a matter as weighty as this. ]
That's fair of you. (More fair than Abby thinks she deserves- if he felt afraid of her or what he understands she's now capable of, she'd grant him that.
... They are in a war, though. Not like she's the only person around here who kills people!!
Or as Byerly eloquently put it instead-) Yeah. True.
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