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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
Oh, you know.
[ Having someone he tries not to lie to is terrible. His pause is for struggling not to change his mind about that stupid secret rule. ]
If it were a meeting or a mission, that would be one thing, but it's a wedding! It's drinking and dancing, and it is very hard to play with you without flirting with you. [ His dramatically overwhelmed clenched fist is invisible, but his voice matches it. ] That voice, those hands.
—and it's camping. Which probably means sleeping. Deciding where to sleep. I don't want to make things hard for Alexandrie. [ Cheerfully, ] Or for myself.
Don't you dare say that you will not go now.
[ Having someone he tries not to lie to is terrible. His pause is for struggling not to change his mind about that stupid secret rule. ]
If it were a meeting or a mission, that would be one thing, but it's a wedding! It's drinking and dancing, and it is very hard to play with you without flirting with you. [ His dramatically overwhelmed clenched fist is invisible, but his voice matches it. ] That voice, those hands.
—and it's camping. Which probably means sleeping. Deciding where to sleep. I don't want to make things hard for Alexandrie. [ Cheerfully, ] Or for myself.
Don't you dare say that you will not go now.
[ She squeaks in mock-protest, immediately giggling afterwards.
And then she is settling back into him with a little more weight, remembering the conversation she’d had with Bastien before she’d left. ]
When was that?
[ The sound of how it feels to need to ask is in her voice. ]
And then she is settling back into him with a little more weight, remembering the conversation she’d had with Bastien before she’d left. ]
When was that?
[ The sound of how it feels to need to ask is in her voice. ]
And maybe a lute.
[ She's going to have to save up for something she can play, if she's going to play for a job. ]
Do you ever play around the Gallows?
[ She's going to have to save up for something she can play, if she's going to play for a job. ]
Do you ever play around the Gallows?
I thought you said you were pretty good.
If you're up by noon, you could play at three in the afternoon.
Then the rest of us could hear you play.
And maybe you can teach me a song.
Or I can teach you one.
Or I can teach you one.
[ Oh, that's sudden. She frowns at the crystal. ]
What kind of song?
What kind of song?
[ Bastien wasn’t fishing for that, and he wouldn’t have thought he wanted to hear it. What he wants is for Byerly to spend time more than a couple miles away from his office for something entirely unrelated to his work, losing himself the way he does sometimes with music, and being there for a young woman who he certainly cares about more than Bastien does, even if he likes her less.
But still. It’s unexpectedly nice to hear. Enough so that it takes Bastien a second to muster up further resistance. ]
What if I spend the whole time writing you a song so full of longing adoration it’s as if you have been away for a year?
But still. It’s unexpectedly nice to hear. Enough so that it takes Bastien a second to muster up further resistance. ]
What if I spend the whole time writing you a song so full of longing adoration it’s as if you have been away for a year?
[ Maybe it will be easier to begin like this. Close, but in a way such that she does not have to see his face, nor he hers, looking at the story of some other lovers in her hand.
Softly: ]
We have not spoken of it, what happened after. After you left that night, or the days and years that followed.
I know bits and pieces, but so few from you. Even fewer that did not come with some amusing story attached. I think I have been afraid to ask. To hear. But— I would like to. When you would like to tell me.
[ A breath, self-steadying. ]
If you would like to tell me.
Softly: ]
We have not spoken of it, what happened after. After you left that night, or the days and years that followed.
I know bits and pieces, but so few from you. Even fewer that did not come with some amusing story attached. I think I have been afraid to ask. To hear. But— I would like to. When you would like to tell me.
[ A breath, self-steadying. ]
If you would like to tell me.
[ She doesn’t know what it is, but she knows it will break her heart.
How long has it been breaking his? ]
We are neither of us as we were.
[ She does not draw back to look at him, only angles her head into his a little more. ]
I want to love you as you are, and... this is a part of you as you are. I do not need it to be charming.
How long has it been breaking his? ]
We are neither of us as we were.
[ She does not draw back to look at him, only angles her head into his a little more. ]
I want to love you as you are, and... this is a part of you as you are. I do not need it to be charming.
[ It's at least easier like this. None of her looking at him with her limpid eyes, her beautiful eyes, no need to see them fill with tears or recriminations or self-loathing or whatever she'd end up feeling. No need to see her face press into lines of pain. Just her back against him, his arm around her waist, resting on her thigh. ]
I made mistakes.
[ His voice is low. Quiet. ]
I - was in desperate poverty. I'd thought that making my way to Antiva would be easy as making my way to Orlais had been, but I overestimated my friendships. They'd had their sport, after all, and so what use was I then?
[ He clears his throat. ]
I thought I had the most phenomenal luck when a particular lady picked me out and helped me. Took me as a lover. I loved her immensely. But she - Well, her only desire was to make use of me, as well.
[ His hand smooths across her knee. He hopes she stops him. Why would she want to hear this? Maker, he doesn't want to tell it. ]
I made mistakes.
[ His voice is low. Quiet. ]
I - was in desperate poverty. I'd thought that making my way to Antiva would be easy as making my way to Orlais had been, but I overestimated my friendships. They'd had their sport, after all, and so what use was I then?
[ He clears his throat. ]
I thought I had the most phenomenal luck when a particular lady picked me out and helped me. Took me as a lover. I loved her immensely. But she - Well, her only desire was to make use of me, as well.
[ His hand smooths across her knee. He hopes she stops him. Why would she want to hear this? Maker, he doesn't want to tell it. ]
Edited 2021-04-28 21:33 (UTC)
[ She doesn't want to hear it, and she does. Needs to, maybe.
Alexandrie lowers the locket slowly, lets it hang again around her neck so she can reach to hold the hand that smooths across her knee as she listens. ]
Alexandrie lowers the locket slowly, lets it hang again around her neck so she can reach to hold the hand that smooths across her knee as she listens. ]
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