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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
Even the kindest love hurts a little sometimes, if there is anything in us that might be hurt, living as it does in the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. Especially if those parts have been injured before, and especially if they have not healed.
[ She lifts her thumb so she can press some small part of his hand between it and her fingers. ]
I imagine there are people for whom love does not hurt, and I wish them all joy. I am not one of them. You must not think the fullness of my agonies are made by you because sometimes I will scream when you touch me. The gentlest touch on raw flesh sears, does it not?
[ A pause while she makes a tiny stroking motion with her thumb, and then she leans in again to set her cheek lightly against his. ]
Perhaps the time we will have together is not forever, but whilst I live I will love you, and I am already the better for it.
[ She lifts her thumb so she can press some small part of his hand between it and her fingers. ]
I imagine there are people for whom love does not hurt, and I wish them all joy. I am not one of them. You must not think the fullness of my agonies are made by you because sometimes I will scream when you touch me. The gentlest touch on raw flesh sears, does it not?
[ A pause while she makes a tiny stroking motion with her thumb, and then she leans in again to set her cheek lightly against his. ]
Perhaps the time we will have together is not forever, but whilst I live I will love you, and I am already the better for it.
[ He presses, and his breath tickles a little. It is the tiniest movement, and she can feel it because she is still. So still, with a heart like the glass of early morning water. She lets her eyes close, finds with her mind all the places they touch, the little warmth there, and she loves him.
It is all in her voice as much as her extremity was. ]
It pained me so much to love again. So incredibly much. But I am kinder for it; a woman again instead of a creature. A blade.
It pains me to hurt you, and slowly I become better because I do not want to.
[ She breathes long, through her nose. Wonders vaguely if he can feel it. ]
It hurts to take an arrow in the shoulder, and it hurts to take it out. I believe us more surgeons to each other than archers. [ A puff of mirth. ] A pity that an unsure surgeon does more damage than an unsure archer, but... we learn, yes?
It is all in her voice as much as her extremity was. ]
It pained me so much to love again. So incredibly much. But I am kinder for it; a woman again instead of a creature. A blade.
It pains me to hurt you, and slowly I become better because I do not want to.
[ She breathes long, through her nose. Wonders vaguely if he can feel it. ]
It hurts to take an arrow in the shoulder, and it hurts to take it out. I believe us more surgeons to each other than archers. [ A puff of mirth. ] A pity that an unsure surgeon does more damage than an unsure archer, but... we learn, yes?
[It's a day like any other in the Diplomacy Office.]
Can I ask you something?
Can I ask you something?
Sorry.
[A pause.]
It's just, it's sort of personal.
[A pause.]
It's just, it's sort of personal.
Perhaps so.
[ It's not a bad metaphor. She always was a better poet than him, though. Those few times he'd tried - Thank the Maker he'd burned them instead of showing them to her. ]
It certainly doesn't mean that pain should be our usual way of doing things, though. I fear we spend rather too long with knife in hand. And I only really want one surgeon operating on me, frankly.
[ His wife, of course. ]
[ It's not a bad metaphor. She always was a better poet than him, though. Those few times he'd tried - Thank the Maker he'd burned them instead of showing them to her. ]
It certainly doesn't mean that pain should be our usual way of doing things, though. I fear we spend rather too long with knife in hand. And I only really want one surgeon operating on me, frankly.
[ His wife, of course. ]
[sheesh.]
...does your wife know? About the others?
...does your wife know? About the others?
[ But she is still thinking in metaphor, and so she flinches. Only a little, only in breath, but she does. ]
[A chiding look. I'm not an idiot, (mostly)]
Lady Alexandrie. ...and Bastien.
Lady Alexandrie. ...and Bastien.
[ He claps a hand to his chest, mouth falling open. ]
You mean my dear, chaste friends? Wait - Andraste's holy heart, Artemaeus, what are you implying? Why - the Lady is married! And Bastien is a man - why, what are you saying about my sexual preferences?
You mean my dear, chaste friends? Wait - Andraste's holy heart, Artemaeus, what are you implying? Why - the Lady is married! And Bastien is a man - why, what are you saying about my sexual preferences?
[He rolls his eyes dramatically, turning a bit in his chair to lounge in proper judgment.]
Byerly, she makes appointments.
Byerly, she makes appointments.
And that's why the whole office smells like her perfume after.
[ He has a steadier hand than she does, surely. Bastien. Fair, to say so, but surely he wouldn't so blithely. Yes, Byerly stumbles sometimes into hurting her without meaning to as she does him, but surely not like that. Not here when they are like this.
How little it takes to calm her, how little to fright.
What else could—
She relaxes, head curving down to his shoulder. A startled flock returning to its pond. ]
Lady Rutyer, you mean.
How little it takes to calm her, how little to fright.
What else could—
She relaxes, head curving down to his shoulder. A startled flock returning to its pond. ]
Lady Rutyer, you mean.
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