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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
Sidony, yes. Because she -
[ He gives a faint cutting gesture with his hand. His brows are still drawn down. ]
Who did you think I meant? - It was intended as a jest. Because surgeons. We certainly aren't having an affair, if you fear that. [ Can you have an affair with your own wife? ]
[ He gives a faint cutting gesture with his hand. His brows are still drawn down. ]
Who did you think I meant? - It was intended as a jest. Because surgeons. We certainly aren't having an affair, if you fear that. [ Can you have an affair with your own wife? ]
Edited 2021-05-07 19:13 (UTC)
So I've gathered.
[A pause.]
...and I don't care about your preferences. I mean.
[He tucks a strand of hair behind one ear.]
I like men. Too.
[Is it the first time he's said as much, aloud? Probably. He's also blushing.]
...it's none of my business, I just. Sidony seems nice.
[A pause.]
...and I don't care about your preferences. I mean.
[He tucks a strand of hair behind one ear.]
I like men. Too.
[Is it the first time he's said as much, aloud? Probably. He's also blushing.]
...it's none of my business, I just. Sidony seems nice.
You look so adorable.
[ Said as one would say that to one's younger brother - not flirtatiously, just obnoxiously. Then, relenting just a bit: ]
Sidony, unlike you or I, has no fondness for men. So she certainly does not have any objections to my...meandering.
[ Said as one would say that to one's younger brother - not flirtatiously, just obnoxiously. Then, relenting just a bit: ]
Sidony, unlike you or I, has no fondness for men. So she certainly does not have any objections to my...meandering.
[Byerly's comment nets him the stinkeye, but it quickly gives way to quiet surprise.]
Oh. Really?
[He opens his mouth, as if to ask why they got married then, but the obviousness of it hits him before he can.]
...that's sort of genius.
Oh. Really?
[He opens his mouth, as if to ask why they got married then, but the obviousness of it hits him before he can.]
...that's sort of genius.
I was—
[ She breathes. Then, softly: ]
I know he has gentler hands than I do.
[ She breathes. Then, softly: ]
I know he has gentler hands than I do.
[Just gonna breeze past that first part,]
marrying someone like yourself. So you can both live freely, and you know the secret's safe with them.
[His mind is blown.]
marrying someone like yourself. So you can both live freely, and you know the secret's safe with them.
[His mind is blown.]
I do not want to talk about this.
[ She shakes her head a little against his shoulder. ]
I have been gone for six weeks and I missed you, and right now I want to be with you and I want you to be with me.
Please.
[ She shakes her head a little against his shoulder. ]
I have been gone for six weeks and I missed you, and right now I want to be with you and I want you to be with me.
Please.
[Bene just sits there for a moment, staring into the middle distance, processing that.
It's so simple, so obvious, but he's strangely upset that it took this long for it to even occur to him. More cause to wonder what else his parents purposely kept from him.]
Hm.
[His brow is furrowed darkly, but he breaks his concentration to glance back up at Byerly.]
...well, in that case I'm happy for you both.
It's so simple, so obvious, but he's strangely upset that it took this long for it to even occur to him. More cause to wonder what else his parents purposely kept from him.]
Hm.
[His brow is furrowed darkly, but he breaks his concentration to glance back up at Byerly.]
...well, in that case I'm happy for you both.
I do not know either.
I am afraid all of the time, that there will be a moment you realize you have everything you need in him, and that holding me is nothing but holding a knife by the blade.
It is why I—
[ She sighs, and the hold she has on the hand that covers hers is as firm as it can be for something so bare. ]
I cannot understand why you would ever choose to be with me, and so I am afraid. But if you needed me jealously, possessively, if it made your hands clench with want of saying 'mine' then— if I knew you could not let go, not even of a knife blade—
You think that dangerous, and you are right, and I will try not to want it so badly, try to stop myself from trying to pull it from you, but it—
Passion like that would make me feel I was safe, for it would mean you could not leave me.
[ The quiet huff of her little laugh again, but there is little mirth in it. ]
And so I am the worst person possible for you to love too, no?
I am afraid all of the time, that there will be a moment you realize you have everything you need in him, and that holding me is nothing but holding a knife by the blade.
It is why I—
[ She sighs, and the hold she has on the hand that covers hers is as firm as it can be for something so bare. ]
I cannot understand why you would ever choose to be with me, and so I am afraid. But if you needed me jealously, possessively, if it made your hands clench with want of saying 'mine' then— if I knew you could not let go, not even of a knife blade—
You think that dangerous, and you are right, and I will try not to want it so badly, try to stop myself from trying to pull it from you, but it—
Passion like that would make me feel I was safe, for it would mean you could not leave me.
[ The quiet huff of her little laugh again, but there is little mirth in it. ]
And so I am the worst person possible for you to love too, no?
Understood.
[It's a secret easily kept, considering it isn't her he works for, and the shared nature of it.
Not that it isn't painfully obvious where his own preferences lie, but it's still not something he appreciates being spoken aloud.]
[It's a secret easily kept, considering it isn't her he works for, and the shared nature of it.
Not that it isn't painfully obvious where his own preferences lie, but it's still not something he appreciates being spoken aloud.]
Why?
Because I say so? Or because sometimes I cling to you as if I can only breathe when you are in my arms and kiss you as if we will hang at sunrise.
Because I say so? Or because sometimes I cling to you as if I can only breathe when you are in my arms and kiss you as if we will hang at sunrise.
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