contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

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[bouchonne]

[ He hums in acknowledgment. It's a sweet sentiment. Rather unexpectedly so - to have Bastien treating his intelligence career like a serious thing. ]

Well, if it makes you feel better, wine also makes people doubt me, and wine treats me much more cruelly than you ever have.

[cozen]

If I start giving you headaches and making you vomit, we do have a problem.

[bouchonne]

Yes, that's a little too kinky for me.

[ Anyway. ]

Thank you.

[cozen]

[ He’s still in the process of huffy laughter about kinkiness when he asks, ]

For not causing hangovers?

[bouchonne]

Aside from giving me that skin-crawling sensation that comes after you consume too much sugar?

Thank you for caring about my scandalous exploits down south.

[cozen]

Oh. [ He needs a moment to decide not to argue with Byerly about whether that's the sort of thing that requires thanks. ] It is my pleasure. Thank you for trusting me enough to allow me to.

—but if your skin is crawling too much I can call your ass bony some more. And I don't know if anyone has ever told you this, but your feet smell like the inside of a boot.

[bouchonne]

[ A laugh. He's clearly more comfortable with the razzing than the sentiment. ]

Counterpoint: perhaps boots just smell like the outside of my feet.

[cozen]

All of them, throughout Thedas, perfumed by a league of perverted shoemakers who want to be able to smell your feet everywhere they go.

[bouchonne]

[ HAH. ]

How about you?

[ He twists around - a little surprisingly limber - to maneuver his feet into the vicinity of Bastien's face. ]

Would you like this incredible gift?

[cozen]

[ Bastien grabs him by both ankles before his feet come too close, but only to pull them closer one at a time, contemplating like a sommelier. ]

L’essence du Byerly. [ And some very serious bullshit: ] Do you spend more time on the left foot when you bathe?

[indissection]

Darling. I think a man is trying to seduce me.

[bouchonne]

Oh, dear.

[ Byerly sounds delighted. ]

Shall I duel him?

[indissection]

You would defend my honour? I'm flattered. [ What a great husband she has, one who will join her in the humour of this situation. ] I think perhaps him seeing my ring might be enough, but if not... Who knows. I'd hate to see the poor man cry.

[bouchonne]

Oh, I very much doubt it would be. Don't lead the poor little fellow on too far, hm? Who is it?

[bouchonne]

How dare you.

[ In mock-offense: ]

I am a division head in Riftwatch. I show no partiality.

[indissection]

I am simply offering him medical care, my love. Julian, he said.

[bouchonne]

Ah, the bard?

[indissection]

That’s the one. He seems rather sweet in truth.

[bouchonne]

Hm, I don't know. I've known a few who seemed rather sweet, then turned out nothing of the sort.

[ Not to get too dark. ]

May I have your permission to meddle, my dear?

[indissection]

Then it’s a good thing I’ve you to take care of me, isn’t it? Do as you please.

[bouchonne]

And doing so is my greatest pleasure, my darling.

[indissection]

I’m not certain I would cope without you. Truly, I mean it.

[bouchonne]

Ah, and likewise. You gladden my heart, even when it's at its heaviest.

[ And by the by - ]

You know I've taken up with Alexandrie and Bastien, yes?

[indissection]

Mm. I hadn’t concerned myself with asking, but I’d thought.

[ It’s only frustrating because she has never been on good terms with the other woman, though it seems obvious why now. ]

I care only for your happiness, you know.

[bouchonne]

Oh, care for a few more things than that.