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contact part deux
if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message
[ He shakes his head bitterly. ]
If that mirror of me had a heart, let it serve only as a target for your dagger. Believe me. In my dreams, I am - not a good man.
[ But it doesn't matter. They're not here to debate his phantasmagorical self. Instead: ]
If your husband returns - or if you go to this man - I would like him to prove himself good first. In some way. [ He scratches uncomfortably at his desk. ] I don't think I typically ask overmuch of you, but I would like - for my heart - some reassurance of your safety. [ A breath out. ] I know you want me to just trust that he's a good man because you love him, but you love me, so.
If that mirror of me had a heart, let it serve only as a target for your dagger. Believe me. In my dreams, I am - not a good man.
[ But it doesn't matter. They're not here to debate his phantasmagorical self. Instead: ]
If your husband returns - or if you go to this man - I would like him to prove himself good first. In some way. [ He scratches uncomfortably at his desk. ] I don't think I typically ask overmuch of you, but I would like - for my heart - some reassurance of your safety. [ A breath out. ] I know you want me to just trust that he's a good man because you love him, but you love me, so.
[ Stubbornly: ]
And you are a good man.
[ She doesn’t stand, but at least she turns to look at him, the obstinacy replaced with soft appeal. ]
Try to know him? You need not be friends, but at the least…
It is different for him here. This is not his world. He has no standing to protect, those he was driven to prove himself to are gone. Everything is lost and there is nothing he can do to regain it; he has little need to be other than the man he is.
We are none of us perfect, none of us unscarred. We have all done somewhat we regret, and we have all been unused to friendship. To love. Have acted from that lack.
He tries to make his future different. Give him the chance to.
And you are a good man.
[ She doesn’t stand, but at least she turns to look at him, the obstinacy replaced with soft appeal. ]
Try to know him? You need not be friends, but at the least…
It is different for him here. This is not his world. He has no standing to protect, those he was driven to prove himself to are gone. Everything is lost and there is nothing he can do to regain it; he has little need to be other than the man he is.
We are none of us perfect, none of us unscarred. We have all done somewhat we regret, and we have all been unused to friendship. To love. Have acted from that lack.
He tries to make his future different. Give him the chance to.
Edited 2021-08-04 15:44 (UTC)
[ A longing sigh. ]
Oh, the piss.
[ He’d already strongly suspected Rutyer was alright, but now it’s confirmed. He crosses a leg over his knee, more relaxed, and taps it. ]
I know I could go visit and keep my head very far down and it would probably be fine, but that’s not the same.
[ Eamon, who arrived in Denerim ready to make a king out of him and then promptly made himself useful to Anora instead, won’t see him if it’s risky. Teagan might, but only to send him on his way. And, ]
I don’t imagine it feels exactly like being disinherited, [ which is a very sensitive thing for him to bring up, ] but not being welcome at home—you get it. Right?
Oh, the piss.
[ He’d already strongly suspected Rutyer was alright, but now it’s confirmed. He crosses a leg over his knee, more relaxed, and taps it. ]
I know I could go visit and keep my head very far down and it would probably be fine, but that’s not the same.
[ Eamon, who arrived in Denerim ready to make a king out of him and then promptly made himself useful to Anora instead, won’t see him if it’s risky. Teagan might, but only to send him on his way. And, ]
I don’t imagine it feels exactly like being disinherited, [ which is a very sensitive thing for him to bring up, ] but not being welcome at home—you get it. Right?
[ She shakes her head. ]
I do not accuse you of being such. I know well enough that my husband was neither a trusting nor forthcoming man, and that he little sought friendship. It is simpler, safer, to have enemies. Tevinter is as Orlais in that regard, and there is more death at the end of their games.
[ She folds her hands in her lap, sits a little straighter as she slowly collects the pieces of herself again. ]
Even with what little I know I do not think it will go the same with this Loki. Should he care for me I will ask of him the same I have asked of you.
I do not accuse you of being such. I know well enough that my husband was neither a trusting nor forthcoming man, and that he little sought friendship. It is simpler, safer, to have enemies. Tevinter is as Orlais in that regard, and there is more death at the end of their games.
[ She folds her hands in her lap, sits a little straighter as she slowly collects the pieces of herself again. ]
Even with what little I know I do not think it will go the same with this Loki. Should he care for me I will ask of him the same I have asked of you.
Edited 2021-08-04 16:48 (UTC)
[ A shrug of acquiescence. ]
That would be something. I don't require his kindness for myself, mind. I just need to know that - That he is a man of good intentions. That he would not - [ He hesitates, then comes up with a reasonably low bar: ] Take your blood for blood magic. At a minimum.
That would be something. I don't require his kindness for myself, mind. I just need to know that - That he is a man of good intentions. That he would not - [ He hesitates, then comes up with a reasonably low bar: ] Take your blood for blood magic. At a minimum.
My—
[ A start, but she quickly thinks better of launching again into defense of the man she had married. Instead she closes her eyes and lowers her head for a moment with a sigh. ]
Find out for yourself, however it is you need to. I ask only that it is done in good faith.
[ A start, but she quickly thinks better of launching again into defense of the man she had married. Instead she closes her eyes and lowers her head for a moment with a sigh. ]
Find out for yourself, however it is you need to. I ask only that it is done in good faith.
[ It takes Alistair a visible moment to understand the cause that sarcasm—further evidence he could never be a diplomat—and then he winces one eye shut in apology.
But, ]
No, no. I couldn’t ask you to get involved. Riftwatch has to save all its sway for saving the world.
[ A Warden principle. If he knew Byerly was a SECRET SPY whose highest loyalty wasn’t to Riftwatch, it might be different. But they also wouldn’t be having this conversation, in that case. Probably. ]
But I’d take advice, if you have any. I don’t know anything. I don’t know if this is the worst possible time to bring it up, or if it’s the best because everyone has bigger problems. I might be able to give her something as—what’s the word. Something that would keep me from being a threat, even if I found the resources and the support and completely changed everything else about me.
Blackmail? That can’t be right. It’s not blackmail if you give it to someone.
[ He could never be a spy, either. ]
But, ]
No, no. I couldn’t ask you to get involved. Riftwatch has to save all its sway for saving the world.
[ A Warden principle. If he knew Byerly was a SECRET SPY whose highest loyalty wasn’t to Riftwatch, it might be different. But they also wouldn’t be having this conversation, in that case. Probably. ]
But I’d take advice, if you have any. I don’t know anything. I don’t know if this is the worst possible time to bring it up, or if it’s the best because everyone has bigger problems. I might be able to give her something as—what’s the word. Something that would keep me from being a threat, even if I found the resources and the support and completely changed everything else about me.
Blackmail? That can’t be right. It’s not blackmail if you give it to someone.
[ He could never be a spy, either. ]
Do you not already think him some nightmare of my husband’s from whom you must needs have proof he shall not draw my blood for some malefic purpose?
Collateral. There we go.
[ He eyes Byerly for a moment—a search for impatience or skepticism. Though it’d be hard to tell, wouldn’t it? The man has one of those faces.
But Alistair’s been talking an awful lot. ]
What do you think? A bad time to bring it up?
[ He eyes Byerly for a moment—a search for impatience or skepticism. Though it’d be hard to tell, wouldn’t it? The man has one of those faces.
But Alistair’s been talking an awful lot. ]
What do you think? A bad time to bring it up?
An extraordinarily bad time to bring it up.
[ He rubs his chin and thinks. After a moment, he says - ]
Which may actually be somewhat to your advantage. It will serve to remind her just how little of a political threat you truly are. To the best of your knowledge, this was done out of political expedience, correct? Not because she resents your nose?
[ He rubs his chin and thinks. After a moment, he says - ]
Which may actually be somewhat to your advantage. It will serve to remind her just how little of a political threat you truly are. To the best of your knowledge, this was done out of political expedience, correct? Not because she resents your nose?
No.
[ Gently: ]
I think because you are worried about me and care for my joy that you will wish to protect it. Protect me. And that it will prompt you to seek first for dangers in him rather than good.
[ Gently: ]
I think because you are worried about me and care for my joy that you will wish to protect it. Protect me. And that it will prompt you to seek first for dangers in him rather than good.
[ At just how little of a threat, Alistair interjects with a cheerful, ]
Ouch.
[ Accurate, though.
Alistair nods at the question—yes, all political, nothing to resent—then slows his nod down and grimaces a little. ]
Weeeell. Not the nose, but I did want her father executed. I might have had a little tantrum when he wasn’t. I don’t think she liked that.
Ouch.
[ Accurate, though.
Alistair nods at the question—yes, all political, nothing to resent—then slows his nod down and grimaces a little. ]
Weeeell. Not the nose, but I did want her father executed. I might have had a little tantrum when he wasn’t. I don’t think she liked that.
Me and Loghain? Sure. Best friends.
[ If the measure of best friendship is choosing not to bludgeoning someone while their back is turned, despite ample opportunity, but still being happy to share their secrets, like: ]
He had a thing for Maric Theirin, you know.
[ If the measure of best friendship is choosing not to bludgeoning someone while their back is turned, despite ample opportunity, but still being happy to share their secrets, like: ]
He had a thing for Maric Theirin, you know.
[ A little puff of air - shit, man - and then Byerly shakes his head. ]
I'd think that his love makes that act of treachery no more and no less evil than it was. If he loved Maric, or hated him, his king was his king. If he wanted another, he should have called a Landsmeet.
[ And then, with a wrinkle of his nose - ]
Then again, I suppose the opinions of two unwanted sons of Ferelden could not be less meaningful or significant.
I'd think that his love makes that act of treachery no more and no less evil than it was. If he loved Maric, or hated him, his king was his king. If he wanted another, he should have called a Landsmeet.
[ And then, with a wrinkle of his nose - ]
Then again, I suppose the opinions of two unwanted sons of Ferelden could not be less meaningful or significant.
[ Quite a staid opinion, for an erstwhile Sexy Corypheus. Alistair raises his eyebrows at it, but not to disagree—mostly because it's none of his business. The whole premise of this conversation and the promises he'd make to be able to go home are that it's none of his business. ]
I don't know. We could form a council. Start writing letters to advise everyone on who is and isn't the worst. If we have a fancy seal, people will listen to us.
I don't know. We could form a council. Start writing letters to advise everyone on who is and isn't the worst. If we have a fancy seal, people will listen to us.
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