[ It's good that Bastien speaks up. Because the misery that her I'm right engenders is - immense. Right to fear him. Right to think him a beast. That's what she means, isn't it? That's what she'd said to him in the dream, too: that he reminded her of him, of Rolant. That when she looked at him, when he was kind to her, that was what she saw. A monster, a rapist - And how could she not? For someone as horribly misused as she was, how could she ever trust the hands of another man, ever? Let alone someone as fucking awful as he is?
And yet: how could he live with someone that looks at him like that? How could he live with someone so afraid of him that she'd betrayed him once, when she's confirmed that fear won't go away?
Byerly turns away. He hunches over, his muscles tense, his eyes narrowed, as he stares at the window, far away from both of them. That is not what she means. Bastien had sounded so certain when he said it; that, and that alone, keeps him from dismissing Alexandrie then and there. Bastien's certainty that perhaps it's not...fear of that sort.
Still. What does he say? He doesn't know what to say. So he stays silent, and puts all his strength into convincing himself that the pain he's feeling is indigestion. ]
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And yet: how could he live with someone that looks at him like that? How could he live with someone so afraid of him that she'd betrayed him once, when she's confirmed that fear won't go away?
Byerly turns away. He hunches over, his muscles tense, his eyes narrowed, as he stares at the window, far away from both of them. That is not what she means. Bastien had sounded so certain when he said it; that, and that alone, keeps him from dismissing Alexandrie then and there. Bastien's certainty that perhaps it's not...fear of that sort.
Still. What does he say? He doesn't know what to say. So he stays silent, and puts all his strength into convincing himself that the pain he's feeling is indigestion. ]