[ Bastien huffs again—unable to see, or else he might laugh for real. He wonders how much she’s happy and how much she’s pretending. But if she’s pretending she’s doing it for Byerly, who’s gone warm and silly between them, and Bastien can’t disapprove.
So he stays quiet and makes an dogged attempt to leech shadows out of Byerly’s chest through his cheek. Only the ones that belong to him: the contempt and threats and indifference he gave Byerly in one dream, the absence and uncertainty and fragility he left him with in the other, countered by being solid and steady and adoring now. For a moment he wants to leave part of it undisturbed—the everything in me and never let go of you bit, that was a lot but sort of a nice lot—but it can’t be real unless the quiet sobs before it are real, so he presses a little more firmly against Byerly’s ribs and imagines brushing that away, too.
Of course there’s no literal leeching or brushing. But it makes Bastien feel better to slouch here and try. ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-02-20 04:00 pm (UTC)So he stays quiet and makes an dogged attempt to leech shadows out of Byerly’s chest through his cheek. Only the ones that belong to him: the contempt and threats and indifference he gave Byerly in one dream, the absence and uncertainty and fragility he left him with in the other, countered by being solid and steady and adoring now. For a moment he wants to leave part of it undisturbed—the everything in me and never let go of you bit, that was a lot but sort of a nice lot—but it can’t be real unless the quiet sobs before it are real, so he presses a little more firmly against Byerly’s ribs and imagines brushing that away, too.
Of course there’s no literal leeching or brushing. But it makes Bastien feel better to slouch here and try. ]