bouchonne | (Reply)

From:

[ Byerly's throat closes. Neither sound nor air are able to pass for a full ten heartbeats. And he thinks: it had been some sort of test, then? Intended for him to prove his loyalty? And a test he had failed. But - no, that's not right; if it was truly a test, surely she'd say that, and not talk about how foolish the hope was. But even so, there's a roiling misery in his chest to think: he failed it. He failed. She was testing his mettle, and if he'd just passed that test, he could have healed her. He could have avoided those years of pain for himself. He could have protected her from the desperate acts that followed.

Stupid idiot. Petty fool. Coward. Fucking piece of shit. ]

I -

[ He struggles to swallow. ]

I did not realize that had been your desire.

[ What's wrong with me? Why didn't I? Piece of shit. ]