[ Darling sweet carrot makes Bastien smile wide—a silent laugh sort of smile, mouth closed only to hide his mouthful of sandwich instead of his teeth. Once half-chewed food isn't an issue, he says, light and matter-of-fact, ]
There was a woman in my house, Giliana. I caught her in a mood once—not long before she died. Maybe she knew. But she told me to keep something—like a memory, something like that—and to never sell it or use it. That way if I ever couldn't tell the difference between who I was and what I did, and everything felt like a lie, I would have that much. And I took myself very seriously when I was a teenager, you know, so. Maybe I took it too much to heart.
[ But it means he has things, is the point he's not quite saying out loud, that have never been used to manipulate or harm anyone. It isn't as simple as being one person under the mask of another, but it matters to him. It matters a whole lot. Even if he's discussing it in the same tone he'd use to discuss ink varieties. ]
It isn't so different for you, is it? Maybe you are not so pretentious about it in your head, but what you show people—it is you, but not all of you.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 01:51 am (UTC)There was a woman in my house, Giliana. I caught her in a mood once—not long before she died. Maybe she knew. But she told me to keep something—like a memory, something like that—and to never sell it or use it. That way if I ever couldn't tell the difference between who I was and what I did, and everything felt like a lie, I would have that much. And I took myself very seriously when I was a teenager, you know, so. Maybe I took it too much to heart.
[ But it means he has things, is the point he's not quite saying out loud, that have never been used to manipulate or harm anyone. It isn't as simple as being one person under the mask of another, but it matters to him. It matters a whole lot. Even if he's discussing it in the same tone he'd use to discuss ink varieties. ]
It isn't so different for you, is it? Maybe you are not so pretentious about it in your head, but what you show people—it is you, but not all of you.