[ He raises his eyes to meet Bastien's - his lovely eyes, full of visible anguish, fixed so desperately on him. There's no anger in them now, just grief and fear. He lifts his own hand to grip Bastien's wrist - firmly, with love, with heartbreak. ]
I -
[ He swallows. ]
I do want to be easy for you. I know that I am frequently not easy, and - Ah, it's - [ A grimace. ] It's different, isn't it, when we're struggling with other sorts of things. [ Questions of guilt, questions of grief, where they both know which answer is right. Where they're not fighting each other; they're fighting their weakness. And of the other sorts of arguments they've had - The other sorts of arguments were ones where Byerly was certainly in the wrong, and that, too, was different, and easier. For some reason. Maybe because Bastien is more forgiving, kinder, better, or...He doesn't know. Maybe because it feels so much easier to simply give in and surrender. ]
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Date: 2023-01-15 06:41 pm (UTC)I -
[ He swallows. ]
I do want to be easy for you. I know that I am frequently not easy, and - Ah, it's - [ A grimace. ] It's different, isn't it, when we're struggling with other sorts of things. [ Questions of guilt, questions of grief, where they both know which answer is right. Where they're not fighting each other; they're fighting their weakness. And of the other sorts of arguments they've had - The other sorts of arguments were ones where Byerly was certainly in the wrong, and that, too, was different, and easier. For some reason. Maybe because Bastien is more forgiving, kinder, better, or...He doesn't know. Maybe because it feels so much easier to simply give in and surrender. ]