[ He takes a breath, trying to hope and imagine a future where he isn't only hearing about excitement secondhand—

And lets it out all at once with a sound not unlike a horse. ]

I can't believe I am making you reassure me about every Maker-damned thing under the sun, after the way I've behaved. This is the last thing.

[ He turns his head, cheek against By's forehead. ]

How can I help?