[ He lets out a breath, shaky. The certainty in Bastien's voice helps. Speaking that taboo thing aloud helps. It's so damned hard, when you're the only one in a room, and everyone else looks at you like that...Ah, Maker. ]

She infuriates me.

[ Some admission that it's not truly strategy driving much of this. ]

Her in particular. She's so smug and righteous - when she's a nasty little thing. Treated Athessa like shit.