[ All right. Good. Bastien isn't about to go off half-cocked (of course not, when would he ever). So Byerly allows himself to relax, little friendship crisis averted - and to say: ]
You have a very sexy voice when you're pissed off, you know.
Well, if you want to hear it more, you will have to be less wonderful. Or, [ with a darker sort of warmth, ] you will have to be an incorrigible scoundrel hiding from the law in the abbey I oversee, who cannot resist causing trouble and starting fights.
A scoundrel is in the eye of the beholder, Your Holiness. From my perspective, I'm simply helping you to identify the evildoers in your midst by tempting them.
[ With cool, calm fury: ] Choosing to avoid temptation is choosing to avoid evil. The men here have made that choice. You, and your— [ with the distaste of the sexually repressed ] —eyelashes are getting in the way of that choice.
[ For most of his life, Byerly had lived with the firm belief that romantic relationships were absurd, because no one could possibly be everything. No one could be so perfect that you were in love with their personality and their looks and their wit and their behaviors went well with yours and also they were absolute tigers in bed.
Turns out there are perfect people in the world. Who knew? ]
Hm.
[ A little breathiness there too. But: work. Work is not done. ]
I don't know. It would be better if we had more true allies amongst the merchant princes. But our window of opportunity narrows with every day.
[ Thinking of all those wealthy assholes with their heads stuck up their gilded assholes (as if Bastien, in another timeline, wouldn't be sipping wine somewhere further south and waiting for Corypheus to go on and kill everyone) works better than a bucket of cold water ever could. ]
What would be better, [ very seriously, ] is if they were not so Antivan.
Noooo, I don't think so. But maybe - [ A laugh. ] They're both very much only into women, and so they sit all day talking about how incredibly glad they are to be normal friends who would definitely never have sex.
[ Byerly makes an emphatic hm, hm noise as he nods - yes, very normal, very unsuspicious. Hm! hm! But when Bastien starts in with that you know, he quiets down himself to frown thoughtfully. ]
[ Easily, though it surprises him a bit that he needs so little thought to be sure. If it were the other way around, if Byerly were a woman and he was done with men, it might have been a harder question. ]
Weird, that is all. To think I have done something for the last time. Especially something I did so often, [ with joking swagger, ] and so well.
My heart - [ Byerly says gravely - ] I would be beyond honored to put on a corset for you.
[ He's happy to hear that, though. He's happy to hear that certainty. To have that closed off - Well, it would be rather akin to being told that you could never again have sweets. There are many pleasures to be found in savory foods, to be sure - and By flatters himself to think that he's quite a fine chef d'cuisine, when it comes down to it - but still. Denial can result in longing.
Then, more practically: ]
And we could always do threesomes. If you're open to it.
[ A long, speculative, satisfied hum answers the offer to wear a corset. Byerly does wear a dress well.
As for threesomes, ]
We could.
[ That’s an enthusiasm-touched we could, not the vague but I would rather not kind. But only enthusiasm-touched, not enthusiasm-soaked. ]
I think your corset will take care of me, but if you—especially after the war, [ when he might see Alexandrie less often, Bastien does not want to say aloud, though talking around it probably runs just as great a risk of making Byerly sad, ] if you need—
[ He smiles. There's a pinch, a sorrow, thinking about after the war. When Alexandrie goes north. They'll still see each other, of course - Maker, he hopes they will - but it won't be the same. But -
But it's not an agony. Painful, but not heart-stopping. He won't be alone. ]
And there may be a time when we grow accustomed to one another. When we no longer provide each other the novelty that we both need so terribly - [ Because they both need novelty, would practically die if they had to live without surprise. ] We can figure that out if it happens.
[ They are, blessedly, miles past the point where Bastien might have spiraled into worrying that By eventually growing a bit bored with the sex might mean growing bored with him. Miles and miles and miles past it, all the way into territory where he can laugh and say, ]
For a time. Once we hit fifty, it is missionary in the dark for the rest of our lives. I’m sorry—that is the rule.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
You have a very sexy voice when you're pissed off, you know.
no subject
[ The last vestiges of the sulk thaw away. ]
Well, if you want to hear it more, you will have to be less wonderful. Or, [ with a darker sort of warmth, ] you will have to be an incorrigible scoundrel hiding from the law in the abbey I oversee, who cannot resist causing trouble and starting fights.
no subject
A scoundrel is in the eye of the beholder, Your Holiness. From my perspective, I'm simply helping you to identify the evildoers in your midst by tempting them.
no subject
If you want to remain here, it stops tonight.
no subject
[ An audible shiver. ]
At least I know that you would never be tempted, Holiness. Perhaps you could provide a demonstration to your people as to just how you stay so firm.
no subject
[ Yes he is. That shiver alone was nearly powerful enough to get Bastien back out of bed. ]
That I would be happy to demonstrate, [ is still in character, but then he slips out of it: ] when you are not working, mon chéri.
no subject
Torturer!
no subject
[ He sounds very pleased with himself, though the slightest breathiness gives away there’s some hot and bothered mixed in with the smug and cool.
He’ll recover. (And he’ll jump Byerly in the morning.) To help— ]
Do you think we are ready for Antiva? Aside from the Crows.
no subject
Turns out there are perfect people in the world. Who knew? ]
Hm.
[ A little breathiness there too. But: work. Work is not done. ]
I don't know. It would be better if we had more true allies amongst the merchant princes. But our window of opportunity narrows with every day.
no subject
What would be better, [ very seriously, ] is if they were not so Antivan.
no subject
[ By never minds a joke at the Antivans' expense. ]
Or if we had all the money in the world to bribe them with. Antivans are, at least, rather easy.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Badly dressed and bare-faced.
[ Because their facial hair is the height of fashion, Wysteria and Benedict. ]
And very gullible, very happy to hand over their riches.
no subject
Ryerly is, of course, incredibly agreeable, why Asstian is quarrelsome.
no subject
[ He’s still laughing, but it tapers off, mostly. ]
We wouldn’t have to dream them hating each other, would we? [ For opposites. ] That would be sad.
no subject
[ He thinks about that a moment. ]
Noooo, I don't think so. But maybe - [ A laugh. ] They're both very much only into women, and so they sit all day talking about how incredibly glad they are to be normal friends who would definitely never have sex.
no subject
Talking about it. That is very normal and unsuspicious of them. But as long as they are happy...
You know—
[ A moment to fully stop laughing again. ]
You know, I might never have sex with a woman again. I had not thought of that.
no subject
Is that an unpleasant thought?
no subject
[ Easily, though it surprises him a bit that he needs so little thought to be sure. If it were the other way around, if Byerly were a woman and he was done with men, it might have been a harder question. ]
Weird, that is all. To think I have done something for the last time. Especially something I did so often, [ with joking swagger, ] and so well.
I suppose I might miss the corsets.
no subject
[ He's happy to hear that, though. He's happy to hear that certainty. To have that closed off - Well, it would be rather akin to being told that you could never again have sweets. There are many pleasures to be found in savory foods, to be sure - and By flatters himself to think that he's quite a fine chef d'cuisine, when it comes down to it - but still. Denial can result in longing.
Then, more practically: ]
And we could always do threesomes. If you're open to it.
no subject
As for threesomes, ]
We could.
[ That’s an enthusiasm-touched we could, not the vague but I would rather not kind. But only enthusiasm-touched, not enthusiasm-soaked. ]
I think your corset will take care of me, but if you—especially after the war, [ when he might see Alexandrie less often, Bastien does not want to say aloud, though talking around it probably runs just as great a risk of making Byerly sad, ] if you need—
[ A pause, to recenter on the point. ]
They’re fun.
no subject
[ He smiles. There's a pinch, a sorrow, thinking about after the war. When Alexandrie goes north. They'll still see each other, of course - Maker, he hopes they will - but it won't be the same. But -
But it's not an agony. Painful, but not heart-stopping. He won't be alone. ]
And there may be a time when we grow accustomed to one another. When we no longer provide each other the novelty that we both need so terribly - [ Because they both need novelty, would practically die if they had to live without surprise. ] We can figure that out if it happens.
no subject
For a time. Once we hit fifty, it is missionary in the dark for the rest of our lives. I’m sorry—that is the rule.
[ It is not the rule. ]
no subject
[ Said in the tone of someone who's just been reminded of an appointment they forgot about, or a fact that had slipped their mind. ]
And past sixty, it's nothing at all, to avoid traumatizing the young folks.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)