[ Smugly, but not without snaking a hand around to take affectionate hold of By's, of which—despite all teasing about boniness—he's also very admiring and fond.
After a moment, he confesses, ]
I have to stop myself from talking about all the other things we could do, if we left—the things we could really do. Not living on islands or joining theater troupes. Real things. I am afraid you will let me talk you into it.
That is not the same as talking about them. Talking makes them real. And you wouldn't—you would never leave to make yourself happy. But you might for me. And I don't ever want to be the reason you do less than you could.
[ Bastien's quiet for a few long moments, stopping himself from doing just that. They could go to Denerim now. They could go to Val Royeaux. They could switch between them. Listen, charm, grease palms, advocate. Report back to Riftwatch by crystal. Be there to meet Riftwatch teams sent south and help them there. Let someone else do the paperwork and try to manage Riftwatch's unruly children. The weather would be better.
The yearning is practically audible.
But what he says, finally, is, ] We should go to sleep.
[ Bastien makes a noise of protest, but only a noise, half tongue-in-cheek, before he settles down to the business of attempting to sleep—and succeeds shockingly well, for a paranoid bard in an unfamiliar room with a creature occasionally moving and huffing on his feet. ]
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[ Emphatically yes to that last part. ]
I used to be able to just ignore shitheads. Or fuck them over later when they weren't expecting it. But now -
[ Ah, me. ]
I have to kiss their asses.
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If the world weren't at risk.
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They're good asses.
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[ Smugly, but not without snaking a hand around to take affectionate hold of By's, of which—despite all teasing about boniness—he's also very admiring and fond.
After a moment, he confesses, ]
I have to stop myself from talking about all the other things we could do, if we left—the things we could really do. Not living on islands or joining theater troupes. Real things. I am afraid you will let me talk you into it.
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Do you truly think I'm not already obsessively thinking of them?
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That is not the same as talking about them. Talking makes them real. And you wouldn't—you would never leave to make yourself happy. But you might for me. And I don't ever want to be the reason you do less than you could.
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[ Wryly: ]
You'd give me an excuse.
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The yearning is practically audible.
But what he says, finally, is, ] We should go to sleep.
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La bonne chose à faire.
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