I can, [he says, in the same way someone might say that they can, theoretically, do a handstand while drunk. they just probably shouldn't.] It's... I suppose you could call it a friend, but it's still a spirit. Communicating directly always comes with, um. Risks. Even with the benevolent ones.
[risks of the demonic possession variety, he does not say, and rather hopes he doesn't have to. still,] But I've known this one for over ten years now, and it's never shown any interest in the physical world when we've spoken in the past. And if it could help us find Benedict's--[he swallows and forges on,] ...Benedict's remains, I'm willing to take that risk.
[blurted out before he can think better of saying it, of embarrassing himself so tremendously before a man he barely knows and yet trusts so implicitly nevertheless.
then, resigned and quiet,]
Sorry. You're right. Of course, you're right, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not--I'm not thinking very clearly.
[marshalling his composure,] Thank you for telling me. I should--[he looks at his books without really seeing them,]--get back to work.
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I can, [he says, in the same way someone might say that they can, theoretically, do a handstand while drunk. they just probably shouldn't.] It's... I suppose you could call it a friend, but it's still a spirit. Communicating directly always comes with, um. Risks. Even with the benevolent ones.
[risks of the demonic possession variety, he does not say, and rather hopes he doesn't have to. still,] But I've known this one for over ten years now, and it's never shown any interest in the physical world when we've spoken in the past. And if it could help us find Benedict's--[he swallows and forges on,] ...Benedict's remains, I'm willing to take that risk.
no subject
[ Byerly's throat tightens as he says it. He desperately wants to say yes, to push the lad to find out the truth. ]
It is not worth it.
no subject
[blurted out before he can think better of saying it, of embarrassing himself so tremendously before a man he barely knows and yet trusts so implicitly nevertheless.
then, resigned and quiet,]
Sorry. You're right. Of course, you're right, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not--I'm not thinking very clearly.
[marshalling his composure,] Thank you for telling me. I should--[he looks at his books without really seeing them,]--get back to work.