contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

Comments

[bouchonne]

I appreciate that.

[ Wryly: ]

I asked her if she would take adequate care of me when I was under her purview, and her response was, essentially, "Eh. Maybe."

[cozen]

[ There's no laugh for that. His breath in and out is even and unhitched, but forceful enough to be audible. After it he says, ]

Fucking spies.

[ A joke, obviously, because look at them, but it comes out flat. He's angry, actually. ]

[bouchonne]

[ Ah. Byerly hadn't expected that. His lips part a moment, and then he endeavors to say - ]

I'm exaggerating. [ A bit. That pointed pause had really made her sound quite indifferent to his fate. But - ] She said that she'd view me, in essence, like any of her agents.

[ Yseult is Bastien's friend. Even though on some level the thought of Bastien being angry on his behalf is thrilling - and it is thrilling, under the anxiety there's a shiver of pleasure - he doesn't want to sow discord between them. ]

[cozen]

[ Bastien considers that in somewhat sulky silence. Is it too much to ask that everyone in the entire world protect Byerly with the same vigor as if they were in love with him? It shouldn't be. But— ]

She is very worried.

[ Grudging, but he softens as he goes on. ]

About everyone. We talked about having people ready on the griffons all the time, so they could dive in if anyone needed it.

[bouchonne]

[ All right. Good. Bastien isn't about to go off half-cocked (of course not, when would he ever). So Byerly allows himself to relax, little friendship crisis averted - and to say: ]

You have a very sexy voice when you're pissed off, you know.

[cozen]

Do I?

[ The last vestiges of the sulk thaw away. ]

Well, if you want to hear it more, you will have to be less wonderful. Or, [ with a darker sort of warmth, ] you will have to be an incorrigible scoundrel hiding from the law in the abbey I oversee, who cannot resist causing trouble and starting fights.

[bouchonne]

[ Oh ho. ]

A scoundrel is in the eye of the beholder, Your Holiness. From my perspective, I'm simply helping you to identify the evildoers in your midst by tempting them.

[cozen]

[ With cool, calm fury: ] Choosing to avoid temptation is choosing to avoid evil. The men here have made that choice. You, and your— [ with the distaste of the sexually repressed ] —eyelashes are getting in the way of that choice.

If you want to remain here, it stops tonight.

[bouchonne]

Oooh.

[ An audible shiver. ]

At least I know that you would never be tempted, Holiness. Perhaps you could provide a demonstration to your people as to just how you stay so firm.

[cozen]

You are not as irresistible as you think.

[ Yes he is. That shiver alone was nearly powerful enough to get Bastien back out of bed. ]

That I would be happy to demonstrate, [ is still in character, but then he slips out of it: ] when you are not working, mon chéri.

[bouchonne]

[ By responds with something halfway between a laugh and a groan. ]

Torturer!

[cozen]

We can do that, too. It’s been a little while since I’ve tied you up. I’ve been thinking about it.

[ He sounds very pleased with himself, though the slightest breathiness gives away there’s some hot and bothered mixed in with the smug and cool.

He’ll recover. (And he’ll jump Byerly in the morning.) To help— ]

Do you think we are ready for Antiva? Aside from the Crows.

[bouchonne]

[ For most of his life, Byerly had lived with the firm belief that romantic relationships were absurd, because no one could possibly be everything. No one could be so perfect that you were in love with their personality and their looks and their wit and their behaviors went well with yours and also they were absolute tigers in bed.

Turns out there are perfect people in the world. Who knew? ]

Hm.

[ A little breathiness there too. But: work. Work is not done. ]

I don't know. It would be better if we had more true allies amongst the merchant princes. But our window of opportunity narrows with every day.

[cozen]

[ Thinking of all those wealthy assholes with their heads stuck up their gilded assholes (as if Bastien, in another timeline, wouldn't be sipping wine somewhere further south and waiting for Corypheus to go on and kill everyone) works better than a bucket of cold water ever could. ]

What would be better, [ very seriously, ] is if they were not so Antivan.

[bouchonne]

Ha.

[ By never minds a joke at the Antivans' expense. ]

Or if we had all the money in the world to bribe them with. Antivans are, at least, rather easy.

[cozen]

All of these rifters with their strange magic, and not one who can create gold. Maybe we should see if the Fade takes requests.

[bouchonne]

We should start dreaming very hard. Maybe we can create Ryerly Buttyer and Asstian, Men of Great Fortune and No Taste.

[cozen]

[ Bastien laughs. One of the longer ones. Amazing. ]

Badly dressed and bare-faced.

[ Because their facial hair is the height of fashion, Wysteria and Benedict. ]

And very gullible, very happy to hand over their riches.

[bouchonne]

[ DELIGHTFUL. ]

Ryerly is, of course, incredibly agreeable, why Asstian is quarrelsome.

[cozen]

A doormat and a terror.

[ He’s still laughing, but it tapers off, mostly. ]

We wouldn’t have to dream them hating each other, would we? [ For opposites. ] That would be sad.

[bouchonne]

Hmm.

[ He thinks about that a moment. ]

Noooo, I don't think so. But maybe - [ A laugh. ] They're both very much only into women, and so they sit all day talking about how incredibly glad they are to be normal friends who would definitely never have sex.

[cozen]

[ The laughter starts right back up again. ]

Talking about it. That is very normal and unsuspicious of them. But as long as they are happy...

You know—

[ A moment to fully stop laughing again. ]

You know, I might never have sex with a woman again. I had not thought of that.

[bouchonne]

[ Byerly makes an emphatic hm, hm noise as he nods - yes, very normal, very unsuspicious. Hm! hm! But when Bastien starts in with that you know, he quiets down himself to frown thoughtfully. ]

Is that an unpleasant thought?

[cozen]

No.

[ Easily, though it surprises him a bit that he needs so little thought to be sure. If it were the other way around, if Byerly were a woman and he was done with men, it might have been a harder question. ]

Weird, that is all. To think I have done something for the last time. Especially something I did so often, [ with joking swagger, ] and so well.

I suppose I might miss the corsets.

[bouchonne]

My heart - [ Byerly says gravely - ] I would be beyond honored to put on a corset for you.

[ He's happy to hear that, though. He's happy to hear that certainty. To have that closed off - Well, it would be rather akin to being told that you could never again have sweets. There are many pleasures to be found in savory foods, to be sure - and By flatters himself to think that he's quite a fine chef d'cuisine, when it comes down to it - but still. Denial can result in longing.

Then, more practically: ]

And we could always do threesomes. If you're open to it.