contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

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[bouchonne]

Noooo.

[ Now he rubs his nose a little more playfully. ]

She has you.

[cozen]

You have me.

[ He tips his head back, all the way, so Byerly's looking down at his forehead instead of his hair. ]

And that will be my condition. I don't think I would be doing that much more field work. But you get to know where I am. You get to know if anything has gone wrong. Yeah?

[bouchonne]

Mm.

[ A hesitation. ]

All right.

But I also don’t want you to go all - Bardly.

[cozen]

[ There’s no offense in his smile. A little caution—but that’s for the hesitation in Byerly’s agreement. ]

How do you mean?

[bouchonne]

Well, you know how Bards are.

[ A wry shrug that he tries very hard to keep from being sad or worried. ]

The job is more important than the man doing it. All that.

[cozen]

[ The slightest nod. ]

I don't think I could be the way I was again if I tried.

[ He shifts back away from Byerly, but only to give himself space to hold his jaw and look him in the eye. ]

And if later you ask me to stop, if you think I am changing or if it is too much, I will. I'll make you talk about it first—but if you mean it, that will be that. I won't resent it or hold it over your head later or anything. I promise.

[bouchonne]

All right. I just don’t want you to - make yourself as small as you used to.

[cozen]

Never.

[ Quietly. Touched. He's not really so confident—but acting like it is half the battle. ]

I'm enormous. [ He pinches By's earlobe between two knuckles. ] I'm bigger than the sky.

[bouchonne]

[ With fond lasciviousness: ]

I’ll say.

[ Then he kisses Bastien sweetly on the lips. ]

I do want you to follow your heart.

[cozen]

[ Bastien’s tittery grin subdues. ]

You are my heart.

[ It’s true. But if it were the entire truth, he wouldn’t be asking for this, would he? Or he would have withdrawn the request the moment he noted the reluctance and worry. He would lock the both of them in a vault.

He doesn’t say it. He doesn’t hide it, either; he looks reflective, a little troubled, when he pulls By down further to press their foreheads together for a moment. ]

What about you? Are you satisfied?

[bouchonne]

With my lot? Diplomacy?

[ Byerly, too, sees the half truth for what it is. But he doesn’t mind. Truthfully, he would not like it one bit if he had become the whole of Bastien’s heart. He adores those parts that are not him the most. ]

[cozen]

[ He nods and shrugs at the same time. ]

With all of it. [ Or, well. ] With what parts of it we have any control over.

[bouchonne]

Hah. So, nothing?

[ He smiles dryly, then shakes his head. ]

I will confess that it has been a bit...difficult, seeing the division all but collapse after my departure from leadership. Not enough to make me wish to go back. But. I cannot help but feel some guilt.

[cozen]

Monarchist.

[ The accusation is fond. ]

You have nothing to feel guilty for. It’s only a little chaotic. And it is not as if you have walked out and taken all of your knowledge and experience with you.

[bouchonne]

Spoken like an anarchist.

[cozen]

If that is the only other option.

[ He pokes his nose over the simmering stew, out of curioisity and hunger both. ]

You don’t miss it at all? Only guilt?

[bouchonne]

My ass is too bony to endure a chair all day.

[ Less facetiously: ]

I miss being able to enforce my will, I think. The anxiety of power is great, but there's a sort of release to it, as well. Knowing that you don't need to convince your subordinates to do anything - just tell them to do it.

[ And: ]

I suppose I also miss having enough money that we don't need to stretch our food budget by making stews in summer.

[cozen]

[ Bastien laughs—but it is very hot in here. ]

If the novelty is wearing off, we could eat in the Gallows more often.

[ They’re not banned from the free food. It’s only less convenient, and a little less charming—to him—than chopping and stirring alongside each other in their miraculous little house.

He’ll circle back to the boss thing in a second. ]

[bouchonne]

Absolutely not. Your touch sweetens every dish. This tastes far better than Gallows food.

[cozen]

[ A good answer, which Bastien rewards by biting Byerly on the shoulder and crawling his hands up his sides, affectionately pinching all the way.

Once he's removed his teeth, ]

You did have to convince us, though. We are like your Freemen—we might have gone to another lord.

[bouchonne]

You wouldn’t have.

[cozen]

I would have, if you were a tyrant who mistreated me and didn't listen to what I thought about anything.

[ He smooths the fabric at By's shoulder where he bit it. ]

But you wouldn't have.

[bouchonne]

[ He glances over at Bastien, his face a little wry and a little skeptical. ]

Truly? You wouldn’t have just stuck it out?

[cozen]

Not for love. If you treated me that way I wouldn't have fallen for you in the first place.

[ This alternate reality doesn't deserve much contemplation. It's ridiculous. He extents a single finger to press the tip of By's nose up and give his skeptical expression a bit of a pig snout. ]

Maybe for some other reason, if I had one. Maybe if I were planning to kill you.

[bouchonne]

Hah.

[ He wiggles his face so the tip of his nose moves around on Bastien’s fingertip. ]

I could still go mad at any time. Never forget that. I’d cordially request a cute little assassination then.

[ That’s said lightly, despite the grimness of the sentiment. ]