contact.

[bouchonne]

crystal my shit up here

Comments

[keenly]

[At the end of that, Colin swallows a mouthful of wine loudly. His lips press together, and he struggles with something for a moment.]

Used how?

[bouchonne]

[ But Byerly shakes his head. That's not his detail to give. ]

[keenly]

[She would tell him. She would have told him, if it was that bad. The air still chills around him, and he finds the wine isn't sitting well. Some of the color drains from his face.

When he speaks again, his voice rasps a little.]

Well, he sounds every kind of vile. [He tosses back the rest of his wine quickly.]

[bouchonne]

As were all his companions.

[ By, with a slight wave of his hand, indicates himself.

He files Colin's exquisite horror away. Easy enough to imagine where that reaction comes from. ]

[keenly]

[He still doesn't look at Byerly, but he shakes his head.]

Why do you want people to hate you?

[bouchonne]

[ A lift of one eyebrow. ]

Dear fellow, I'm just giving you both sides of the story. I am altogether indifferent to how others feel about me.

[keenly]

Bullshit.

[bouchonne]

Such a mouth on you.

[keenly]

What was his name?

[bouchonne]

He's dead now, dear boy.

[keenly]

Good. [It's like there's a weight on his chest. He might be dying. Is he dying? His hand goes to his chest.]

I have to talk to her.

[bouchonne]

About what?

[keenly]

[Colin is already standing up, grabbing the rest of the bottle of wine, and heading out the door, closing it a little too hard behind him.]

later; crystal

[keenly]

[Colin's voice sounds a bit rough.]

I...um. You were right. About his associates being wicked. And there's no excuse, if you were party to what he was doing.

[bouchonne]

So glad you've come around.

[keenly]

Please be less smug. Did you know what he was doing?

[bouchonne]

Of course.

[keenly]

And you let it happen?

[bouchonne]

I told you that I am wicked.

[ But... ]

I was not involved in what happened to her.

[keenly]

I know she doesn't blame you for...anything. I shouldn't blame you for anything she doesn't. So, I won't. Especially given how guilty you clearly feel about all of it. Whatever you were back then, you're not that now.

[bouchonne]

[ His voice sharpens. ]

And who gave you the authority to stand in judgment over me?

[keenly]

[not a bad point. at all. but.]

None the templars in the tower but one were involved in what happened to me, either. But you had better believe the rest of them knew and did nothing until I bribed them with lyrium. Now I have to work with you and I want to know whether you will have my back against any threat.

[bouchonne]

And so you want me to give you some reason to do so. You want me to say the right words that undo what I've done, so that you can like me without feeling all twisted up and like you're betraying yourself.

[keenly]

[I want to feel safe, is what he wants to say, but the other words cut him to the bone. He wishes By hadn't said them. But they're true. Of course they're true, though he hadn't known it right away. Byerly is a master at all of this. There's a lengthy pause, and he swallows.]

Not very reasonable of me, is it?

[bouchonne]

What's done is done.

[ By feels like spitting. For all his pretending, it is a miserable thing to be hated. Yet to have someone want to adore you - that is so very, very much worse. ]

There is no undoing it and no absolving it; after all, I was a son of a bitch back then and I still am one. And there is nothing excusing it. How can I beg for forgiveness I've not earned? I wouldn't do the same now, but that's most likely because I'm in different circumstances, not because I'm a different man. So. Decide what to do with that for yourself.