contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

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[bouchonne]

Quite the opposite. They were on terms too good with my father's side.

[ Then, by way of explanation: ]

My father and I had...a parting of the ways, of sorts, when I was but a lad. They'd have faced some censure from the old man and the whole clan if they'd given me succor. So there was no advantage in taking in the flotsam that showed up on their doorstep, so they didn't.

[untiltheyarent]

I see.

[Her brow knits sympathetically.]

I'm sorry.

[bouchonne]

[ An indifferent, jaunty wave of his hand. ]

For the loss of a sour, miserly son-of-a-bitch in favor of a life of freedom? I'm not. Even if it would have been easier to find a bite to eat if I were still in the Rutyer good graces, I've never mourned the loss of them.

[ And then, with a little tilt of his head: ]

So did you earn a living as a spy? Or was it merely something you did recreationally?

[untiltheyarent]

[She actually laughs lightly at his forwardness, but seeing as that particular cat's already out of the bag, there's no sense in dancing around it.]

It's unique to my time with Riftwatch. Scoutmaster Beleth sent me to work in the house of the brothers Asgard, asking that I relate anything unusual to her. It took some time for me to realize what I was doing was spying.

[bouchonne]

[ That makes him laugh. Because - ]

That story feels rather familiar.

[ Anyway. ]

Do you like it?

[untiltheyarent]

[Fifi laughs in response, her face truly lighting up for the first time since they met, whether asleep or awake.]

Was it similar for you?

[She doesn't answer his other question yet.]

[bouchonne]

[ He presses a hand to his chest in mock-shock. ]

What are you accusing me of? Me? A spy? Don't you know how useless I am?

[untiltheyarent]

[Continuing to smile fondly, she tilts her head at him, raising her eyebrows in a look that says 'how stupid do you think I am'.]

[bouchonne]

[ He grins, and drops the act. ]

One of the useless rakes I was friends with, asking me to do little favors for him. Here and there. And then larger favors. Thank the Maker that he was pulling me into serving a virtuous master - I'd have detested myself if I found out that I'd been secretly working for - oh, I don't know - Tevinter or someone of the like.

[untiltheyarent]

Or Fen'Harel, [Fifi helpfully supplies.]

I consider myself fortunate that Beleth had my best interests at heart.

[bouchonne]

The prayer of a pawn. "May my chessmaster use me to benevolent ends."

[untiltheyarent]

[Chuckling, Fifi raises her glass again.]

To the pawns.

[bouchonne]

[ He toasts, and drinks. ]

What do you remember of Fen'Harel? What you did for him?

[untiltheyarent]

I don't recall that I'd even met him.

[She sips from her glass.]

I was being given documents by a third party, to have printed by Bastien. I couldn't...

[The barest wince.]

... I don't read, so although I knew they were propaganda of some kind, what they said was a mystery to me.

[bouchonne]

Hm.

[ He smooths down his mustache. ]

Likely, even if you could, you wouldn't be able to recall anyway. All the most useful details of those dreams seem to have slipped away.

[untiltheyarent]

Perhaps.

[Giving a little sigh, she settles back in her chair and looks into her glass.]

What I do recall is my conviction that it would make a difference. That a bit of risk for the right reasons could mean... change, if not for myself, then for those like me.

...which. I suppose, if I had remained in that life, as I did in the dream, I might feel more passionately about.

[bouchonne]

Not passionate about elven liberation in this life?

[untiltheyarent]

Not as passionate as I might be if I still lived in a brothel in the slums of Val Royeaux.

[bouchonne]

[ He makes a noise of understanding. ]

It does all feel immense, it seems to me. Justice for your people. I could understand why someone would turn to desperate, potentially-world-ending measures.

[untiltheyarent]

Yes. I admit it's crossed my mind, but.

[She swirls her wine and drinks from it again.]

Riftwatch treats its elves better than anywhere I've been before. And I'm not the sort to throw myself on a pyre, even in the worst of times. Maybe that makes me weak.

[Her gaze remains downcast, perhaps saddened.]

I can't help but feel I've had more than my share of excitement. And grief. There's peace and satisfaction in sweeping floors, knowing that's all you have to do.

[bouchonne]

[ He tilts his head, watching her. ]

Is that what you crave, then? Peace? Satisfaction?

[ No judgment here; real curiosity, instead. ]

[untiltheyarent]

At least for the time being.

[She meets his eyes, a touch warily.]

I imagine I have rather longer to live, so it wouldn't do to put myself out to pasture for good.

[bouchonne]

[ He lifts a hand; no threat here. ]

And if you were to live forever, and have impermeable skin and an iron-clad heart, what would you fight for?

'cause I've got thick skiiiin and an elastic heaaaart

[untiltheyarent]

[Fifi's smile is soft, at first glance, but something in her eyes is steely.]

Should I be so indestructible, and have the time and power, I would fight against all injustice until it was eradicated.

[She looks down again, thoughtfully.]

I wonder if that's what Fen'Harel believes he's doing.

a bop

[bouchonne]

Oh, I'd wager that at his core, that's even what Corypheus thinks he's doing.

[ No judgment in Byerly's face. Just a little smile. ]

The trick, I suppose, is marrying idealism to wisdom. Which, if our ageless magister is anything to go by, does not in fact come with age.