contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

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[bouchonne]

[ That makes him laugh. Because - ]

That story feels rather familiar.

[ Anyway. ]

Do you like it?

[untiltheyarent]

[Fifi laughs in response, her face truly lighting up for the first time since they met, whether asleep or awake.]

Was it similar for you?

[She doesn't answer his other question yet.]

[bouchonne]

[ He presses a hand to his chest in mock-shock. ]

What are you accusing me of? Me? A spy? Don't you know how useless I am?

[untiltheyarent]

[Continuing to smile fondly, she tilts her head at him, raising her eyebrows in a look that says 'how stupid do you think I am'.]

[bouchonne]

[ He grins, and drops the act. ]

One of the useless rakes I was friends with, asking me to do little favors for him. Here and there. And then larger favors. Thank the Maker that he was pulling me into serving a virtuous master - I'd have detested myself if I found out that I'd been secretly working for - oh, I don't know - Tevinter or someone of the like.

[untiltheyarent]

Or Fen'Harel, [Fifi helpfully supplies.]

I consider myself fortunate that Beleth had my best interests at heart.

[bouchonne]

The prayer of a pawn. "May my chessmaster use me to benevolent ends."

[untiltheyarent]

[Chuckling, Fifi raises her glass again.]

To the pawns.

[bouchonne]

[ He toasts, and drinks. ]

What do you remember of Fen'Harel? What you did for him?

[untiltheyarent]

I don't recall that I'd even met him.

[She sips from her glass.]

I was being given documents by a third party, to have printed by Bastien. I couldn't...

[The barest wince.]

... I don't read, so although I knew they were propaganda of some kind, what they said was a mystery to me.

[bouchonne]

Hm.

[ He smooths down his mustache. ]

Likely, even if you could, you wouldn't be able to recall anyway. All the most useful details of those dreams seem to have slipped away.

[untiltheyarent]

Perhaps.

[Giving a little sigh, she settles back in her chair and looks into her glass.]

What I do recall is my conviction that it would make a difference. That a bit of risk for the right reasons could mean... change, if not for myself, then for those like me.

...which. I suppose, if I had remained in that life, as I did in the dream, I might feel more passionately about.

[bouchonne]

Not passionate about elven liberation in this life?

[untiltheyarent]

Not as passionate as I might be if I still lived in a brothel in the slums of Val Royeaux.

[bouchonne]

[ He makes a noise of understanding. ]

It does all feel immense, it seems to me. Justice for your people. I could understand why someone would turn to desperate, potentially-world-ending measures.

[untiltheyarent]

Yes. I admit it's crossed my mind, but.

[She swirls her wine and drinks from it again.]

Riftwatch treats its elves better than anywhere I've been before. And I'm not the sort to throw myself on a pyre, even in the worst of times. Maybe that makes me weak.

[Her gaze remains downcast, perhaps saddened.]

I can't help but feel I've had more than my share of excitement. And grief. There's peace and satisfaction in sweeping floors, knowing that's all you have to do.

[bouchonne]

[ He tilts his head, watching her. ]

Is that what you crave, then? Peace? Satisfaction?

[ No judgment here; real curiosity, instead. ]

[untiltheyarent]

At least for the time being.

[She meets his eyes, a touch warily.]

I imagine I have rather longer to live, so it wouldn't do to put myself out to pasture for good.

[bouchonne]

[ He lifts a hand; no threat here. ]

And if you were to live forever, and have impermeable skin and an iron-clad heart, what would you fight for?

'cause I've got thick skiiiin and an elastic heaaaart

[untiltheyarent]

[Fifi's smile is soft, at first glance, but something in her eyes is steely.]

Should I be so indestructible, and have the time and power, I would fight against all injustice until it was eradicated.

[She looks down again, thoughtfully.]

I wonder if that's what Fen'Harel believes he's doing.

a bop

[bouchonne]

Oh, I'd wager that at his core, that's even what Corypheus thinks he's doing.

[ No judgment in Byerly's face. Just a little smile. ]

The trick, I suppose, is marrying idealism to wisdom. Which, if our ageless magister is anything to go by, does not in fact come with age.

[untiltheyarent]

[Fifi chuckles, but tilts her head in consideration.]

Corypheus believes himself entitled to power at any cost. He'll grant power to others, but only if they aid him. Is that the same? Even if the only injustice is one he imagines against himself?

[She sips her wine.]

What would you do? With limitless health and reach?

[bouchonne]

The same, I think. [ But, lest he sound too benevolent: ] It'd be such a good look, to be a hero and a liberator. I'd never have to buy my own drinks ever again.

[ Then: ]

And yes, I think so. There are, in my experience, men with the narrowest of minds, who can only truly consider themselves and their own joy and comfort. They are, to themselves, the whole world, and so when they help themselves they are exercising the highest virtue.

[untiltheyarent]

[A giggle at his answer, though she sobers again once Byerly continues.]

Of such people I have known more than I'd like.

[Her brow creases faintly.]

But any indestructible hero would be selfish, no matter what, because there will always be collateral damage. Their one weakness would be the mortal people they stand for, who can and will be used against them, or punished for their transgressions.

I suppose the real question is, would that cost be worth it. And is it worth it to Fen'Harel, and those like him.

[bouchonne]

They certainly seem to think so.

[ A droll half-smile. ]

For my part, I've never been sure enough of my principles to be able to dare that sort of thing.