contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

Comments

[bouchonne]

Hmm.

[ By considers that. ]

I feel as though the comparison between mages and Orlesian freemen is not quite accurate.

[cozen]

[ Bastien hums agreeably. There are surely a thousand reasons it is not quite accurate, of course. But he's interested in which reasons By is concerned with, specifically, so he says, ]

No?

[bouchonne]

No. For one, a farmer has never singlehandedly killed hundreds of people.

[cozen]

One or two might have, during an Exalted March. But then they would have become soldiers rather than farmers.

And you are right, of course. But what I mean is, I don't think it feels that way to them. The Circle mages have come from a life where everyone can do as they do, so it has been no real advantage to them to be able to create fire in their hands. We can look at Tevinter and imagine a world where they live among us and use their power to take whatever they want, or abominations are taking out villages every week, but that is not a world they have ever lived in. [ He's gone a little meditative-sounding, like he might fall asleep. But he won't. It is actually the sound of him delving into the idea as he voices it, trying to put himself more firmly into their imagined shoes. ] They have only lived in one where everyone is like them, and the Templars can hurt them or the Chantry can decide to execute them all at once and no one will come to help.

[bouchonne]

[ He's quiet a moment, thinking about that, idly scratching Bastien's scalp as he does. He is...right about that, to be sure.

Yet - ]

But they've been with us for years, most of them. It'd be one thing for a newcomer to struggle with that idea. But they've dwelled alongside these Templars - and alongside us - and are still as rigid and uncompromising as on their first day.

[cozen]

They do say magic is connected to will,

[ is a joke, delivered with some quiet huffing laughter. They are all remarkably stubborn. ]

But I don't know. I think—if we set aside all the ways they are not like the elves. If we only think about they feel, after what has happened. Derrica is from Dairsmuid, you know, where they killed everyone. Nearly everyone. [ She does not appear to be dead herself. ] So that is—would we ask an elf from Halamshiral, with family who died in the purge there, to compromise about working with a chevalier? To trust them? Even one who was not there when it happened, they must have been there for other things.

I suppose we might ask it of them. For the sake of the world. Things are pretty dire. And I would admire the elf who was able to see that and do what needed to be done and save their fury for later. But it would leave a bad taste in my mouth, to force it.

[bouchonne]

Hmm.

[ He frowns slightly as he thinks. After several heartbeats of silence, he says: ]

Yes. I would ask it of them. I would force it, if need be.

[ His voice is slow, pensive, and honest. By way of explanation: ]

My country nearly fell once to darkspawn because one man was too lost in his old wounds to see the threat ahead of him. Living in the past means death.

[cozen]

[ Bastien's little frown turns into a sympathetic one, first, and then into a tiny smile, because he loves the future far more than the past, himself. However: ]

Now that is different.

[ Friendly. Very Orlesian. His accent might even have gotten heavier. ]

That was paranoia.

[bouchonne]

Of course. No one can rightly fear an Orlesian, eh?

[ He loves his clown boyfriend. ]

[cozen]

Harmless, all of us.

[ He opens his eyes just to wink one of them. But more seriously: ]

It was not even the Orlesian army wanting to come in and help. It was the Grey Wardens. We were not trying to invade that year at all.

[bouchonne]

I know that. Try telling it to the usurper.

[cozen]

If he comes back here, I will.

It is different, though. It is not only the past for them. It could be the future. It is more like—like if the Blight had been in Orlais, while Orlais was still occupying Ferelden, and we asked Ferelden to come help us stop it. For your own sakes, too, because if the Blight spread you'd be worse than occupied. But without any promises we would withdraw if you helped.

[bouchonne]

The mages are free, now. So not while Orlais was still occupying Ferelden.

[cozen]

[ Bastien—with the luxury of approaching this like a game, or a puzzle—laughs admiringly at the distinction rather than elbowing Byerly in the ribs. ]

I think the Chantry and most of the Templars would say they are loose, not free. So alright. Not while Orlais is still occupying Ferelden. After it has just been pushed back to the border, but was still in arms trying to come back in, and will not promised not to go right back to it when the Blight has been handled.

[bouchonne]

[ A grunt. ]

I'd still expect them to fight. I'd fight.

[cozen]

La bonne chose à faire, [ with quiet admiration; it'd be accompanied by a kiss if he weren't so comfortable and heavy. ] But you wouldn't be happy about it, would you?

[bouchonne]

No.

[ Another scratch at Bastien's head. ]

You would, too.

[cozen]

[ He tilts his head into it, doglike. Or catlike. Or the cross between the two: foxlike. ]

Only for the chance to share your tent. Otherwise I would be in Gworn with the nubile bird-women. Not everyone is like you.

And they are here. Fighting. And I'm not— [ a yawn, finally, after all this time ] —I'm not saying they are being the most reasonable people in the world, or that I think you should give them everything they ask for. I just think I understand why they are so unhappy.

[bouchonne]

[ A grunt of acknowledgment. Yes. When it's put like that - He does, too. But. ]

Do they have to make my life miserable, though?

[cozen]

[ Cheerfully shrugging: ]

You have the big chair.

[bouchonne]

Hm. I often wish I didn't.

[cozen]

[ Bastien opens his eyes for that, to look at By's face in the dim light. He feels a little responsible—for failing to find an outside hire, for encouraging Byerly as a candidate. And it's difficult, isn't it, to communicate I'm proud of you for doing this without it sounding like I will only be proud of you if you do this. ]

How badly?

[bouchonne]

Ah, I don't know.

[ Byerly, in turn, isn't fully certain how to communicate how much he hates this work without sending the message I'm angry that you talked me into it. Because - he isn't. Not really. It's - complicated. ]

It's just a strange thing, to be hated. I'm used to being disliked. But hatred is new. And I hate the times when I could be spending time with you and then I don't.

[cozen]

[ Bastien smiles a little. ]

I hate that, too.

And I hate how worried you are all the time, and I hate when people don’t laugh at your jokes and we cannot just say fuck them and go spend time with people who do.

[bouchonne]

Mm.

[ Emphatically yes to that last part. ]

I used to be able to just ignore shitheads. Or fuck them over later when they weren't expecting it. But now -

[ Ah, me. ]

I have to kiss their asses.