contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

Comments

[altusimperius]

Good, [Benedict remarks primly, regarding looking like a witch, but he carefully withholds any commentary about the apology. He had suggested it in the first place, but leaning too hard on it would be an odd look, considering who he is.]

[bouchonne]

[ Byerly grimaces in response to that. ]

I suppose it would depend on what they ask as recompense. I'm willing to lick their boots, to be sure. But I'm not sure what else they'd desire.

[cozen]

[ Bastien is still for a moment—the absence of any other demonstration of a little swell of frustration—before he swirls his water and takes a drink. ]

Suppose they do not want their boots licked.

[ A little faith. ]

Suppose they want to know they can count on you not to provoke people during meetings just because you have gotten bored with the topic.

u can skip me for a bit, just assume he’s listening/processing

[altusimperius]

[Benedict is abruptly very interested in the contents of his folio. His input, including facial reactions, would likely not be welcome here.]

[bouchonne]

[ He’s a little stung by that framing, and so he’s a bit defensive: ]

What’s the point of an apology, if not boot-licking?

[cozen]

[ If it were not for Benedict's quiet (good call) presence, Bastien might have made it personal: is that what you're doing when you apologize to me, is that what you think I'm doing when I apologize to you. And if it were not for the fact that he does have some faith in Byerly, he might have launched right into an explanation of what the point of an apology is, in detail, as if to a rifter from a world without.

It's still tempting, as revenge for him having asked.

Instead, eyebrows raising from beyond his feet on the desk: ]

Really?

[bouchonne]

Yes, really.

[ Byerly frowns openly at Bastien's tranquil expression. He knows perfectly well what sort of judgmental thoughts are happening behind that calm. ]

If people didn't want the apologizer crawling in shit, at least a little, then apologies wouldn't sound like they do. Ah, I was wrong, you were right, all that. It's about abasing oneself.

[altusimperius]

[Bene’s eyes flicker up almost imperceptibly. Bruh,]

[cozen]

[ The calm doesn’t crack. Explanation it is. ]

It’s about demonstrating that you understand why someone is upset and that you agree they aren’t wrong to be. Ideally that you are going to stop upsetting them, too.

Rolling around in shit while you do it is optional, but if that’s your preference—

[bouchonne]

You think it's optional with this group?

[ Faith in them, indeed. ]

[cozen]

Yseult wants professionalism. She doesn’t want to have to tell you it’s alright or think about your feelings. If you grovel, she’ll be disgusted, not pleased.

[ No one in the history of Thedas has ever been chiller than Bastien is right now. He tilts his cup to swab out a crushed leaf of mint with his fingertip and put it into his mouth. ]

Stark has some compassion, I think, but he likes to keep things breezy. He’ll be uncomfortable.

And Flint—you’re the expert on Flint. If he wants you licking his boots, fine— [ not fine actually!!!! ] —but do it in private.

[bouchonne]

[ Byerly allows this with a tilt of his hand. Bastien’s assessment isn’t incorrect. But: ]

And then they say to me, “go make it right with the mages.” And you can’t tell me that they don’t want me crawling in shit.

[cozen]

After years of antagonism, [ carries as little judgment as the word antagonism possibly could. He is only doing this because his daydreams about moving into Lowtown and letting someone else do the paperwork for a while didn't cause Byerly to leap up and say yes let's go right now— ] they would not believe it if you did. At best they would think you had been forced, and at worst they would think it was slimy. Maybe a few of them would enjoy it, but not in a way that would make them like or trust you any more.

Honestly, I think nothing you do is likely to win them over right now. Not overnight.

[bouchonne]

[ Prickly, offended - ]

Antagonism? Don't you start with that, too. Any complaints I've had, I've shared only with you in private - and I've done more than my fair share, more than any of the rest of them, to protect mages. I mean -

[ He gestures to Benedict. ]

[cozen]

[ Bastien follows his gesture to look at Benedict, whose presence he does very much appreciate, which is why it's awful that he has to say, ]

Benedict doesn't count. Colin barely counts.

[ An unfortunate side-effect of Byerly's habit of particularly befriending and helping outcasts is that they do not have much sway with the movers and shakers of any particular faction, on account of being cast out. ]

To them, [ he clarifies, because of course Benedict and Colin count in the grand scheme of things. ] To them you are not a penniless and disinherited Fereldan mouthing off to authority. You are authority, they are the underdogs, and they perceive you as flippant and dismissive about their larger cause—which you are, sometimes, in a way. You are mouthy and droll and you love to pick at threads for the sake of it, and none of them in that little circle, [ no offense intended, ] have the personality to take that in stride, let alone play along. When you are sincere they don't think they can trust it. It will take more than groveling once to correct that.

[altusimperius]

[Rather than appear sting, Benedict gives a tired little shrug. It’s true, most of the rebel mages don’t take him seriously.]

[bouchonne]

Yes, [ drolly and mouthily, ] I can certainly see why the faction that chooses to exclude its own people on the basis of their background, and whom the leaders of this organization are desperate to appease, and who could kill me with a thought if they chose and who likely would face no repercussions for it - I see entirely why they see themselves as underdogs.

[ He is appeased by Bastien’s amendment, though. A bit. It’s fucking obnoxious being called nasty and antagonistic when he’s just - saying what’s true. Or challenging pomposity. Maker, they’re pompous. ]

So what will appeal to them, then? Artemaeus, you’ve spent at least some time with them.

stung** dangit

[altusimperius]

[A little surprised to be put on the spot, Benedict glances first at Bastien, then returns his gaze to Byerly.]

I don’t know, exactly. All their answers would be somewhat different, and I haven’t been privy to most of the deeper conversations.

[He hunches his shoulders slightly.]

We could conduct a poll. Anonymously, of course.

[bouchonne]

[ Hm. By purses his lips a bit, his face thoughtful. ]

I would wholeheartedly embrace a poll of some sort. [ He reflects for the span of a heartbeat, then says - ] Part of the issue is that I truly don't know what might please them, aside from freedom now, freedom forever. Which is not in my power to grant. Maker, if there were something I could grant, something that was truly meaningful to them, I'd give it to them fast as I could.

[ There's sincerity in his voice. A good part of his frustration, truly, comes out of wanting to be kind and wanting to do right by these people but having no real way to do so. ]

[altusimperius]

[Benedict makes a note, pleased to have something to do, some way to contribute properly.]

I’ll have a draft for you at the end of the day, then.

[cozen]

Be careful.

[ Bastien does hate to be the cynic, in any given situation, but here they are. ]

You know what you have done and what you have chosen not to stand in the way of, but you've explained it, [ publicly, via crystal, ] and it hasn't been enough. They're unhappy with the way you speak to them. About them. [ Like just now. ] I know you've been serious and sincere with them sometimes, but not consistently enough for them to trust it. And assuming they hear about the meeting, they're going to know that you proposed telling the Templars they could be in charge. If they are looking for the least charitable interpretation of what you do—rightly or wrongly—then offering whatever they want, all of a sudden, is going to look like ass-covering.

That doesn't make it worthless. The difference between ass-covering and sincerity is consistency, I think. [ Meaning it, again, is for children and Fereldans. ] But you'd have to be prepared to be gracious if they are still unhappy with you, and to keep following up on it regardless.

[ Cynical warning delivered, he takes a quick drink and makes a pitch instead: ]

Queen Anora was sympathetic, non? Before they brought in the Tevinters to Redcliffe. Maybe now that the woman who made that bargain is gone, [ sorry Fiona, ] there would be room for a conversation. You could find out. See if the mages are interested and arrange a meeting for them with someone from her administration if they are. I heard she was interested in establishing a university in Ferelden, before all of this chaos, and the mages have all of those well-educated elders and books gathering dust right now. Maybe there is something there that could benefit them all.

And their own ideas, of course.

[bouchonne]

[ It's a good idea. Good enough that he's not completely deflated by that cynicism. Just partially. ]

I can certainly reach out to my spymaster, who might bring it to Her Majesty. [ Grimacing: ] Ideally in a way that this doesn't sound like please fix Rutyer's fuck-up.

[cozen]

Ideally. But not necessarily.

[ He considers Byerly over the toes of his propped-up shoes. It's a calculating look, but after a moment it softens. Relenting. ]

I think we have a start.

[ Only a start. And a great deal depends on Byerly's ability to hear out everyone who might wish to lecture him, even if the content of those lectures diverges from what they've predicted here, without snapping his teeth or claiming not to understand the point of an apology.

But Bastien's hit the comfortable limit of his own ability to sit here and be an impassive hardass at his boyfriend. (Not the outer limit; he could do it forever, if the situation required.) ]

Maybe we take a break?

[altusimperius]

[As eager as anyone to get out of here for a bit, and put all this behind him, Benedict nods.]

[bouchonne]

[ It's a bit of a relief. By lets out a breath, and rubs at his eyes. This was a bit more harrowing than he'd expected. ]

Sure.

[ And then, with difficult sincerity - ]

Thank you. For - trying.