contact part deux

[bouchonne]

if this were modern times byerly would probably make you listen to total eclipse of the heart before you were able to leave a message

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[cozen]

In that case you might need to hide Benedict under the floor.

[ His stomach growls. They’d been getting that bread for a reason. But he ignores it. ]

I think you should sleep on it. At least for one night. Maybe a week of nights.

[bouchonne]

Mm.

[ Byerly presses his hand against that gurgling stomach. ]

You're hungry. Let me get you something.

[ The offer isn't a dodge, exactly. But Byerly doesn't quite want to promise. He might, after all, lose his nerve after a week of nights, sink back into his prior inertia.

He starts to extricate himself, to go back to the table to assemble a plate for Bastien. ]

[cozen]

[ He holds onto By for a moment, more teasing than actually trying to stop him, and then squirms around on the settee to stretch out and watch him work. His lovely narrow hips, his shoulders, his hands. The beloved fall of a few renegade pieces of hair across his forehead.

It wasn’t a dodge, exactly. ]

I want you to have everything. That’s all. If you want it. I don’t want you to ever give anything up for me—except the drinking.

[ He smiles. He’s still grateful. ]

But if it’s for you, if it’s for Riftwatch, if it’s for the world. If you’re sure.

[bouchonne]

Mm.

[ He's quiet a moment as he cuts and serves. ]

It's all right. To want me to give things up for you. You can ask that of me.

[ He casts a glance over to Bastien. It's a cautious look, because he doesn't want to spook him. Something like this feels like a demand. And isn't that strange? How it's a little selfish to ask Bastien to be selfish. So many other people are perfectly willing to take, after all - but desires are so foreign to Bastien, that it's uncomfortable and even a little threatening to ask him to act on his. ]

I love you just as much when you're difficult as I do when you're easy.

[cozen]

[ Bastien's adjusting, making room on the settee for sitting alongside each other instead of on top of each other, making it a simpler matter to eat from a plate—but then his faintly smiling quiet stretches on a little past that. ]

I know.

[ Not dismissive; touched and grateful. He knows, but he can do with the occasional reminder.

He eats a piece of the bread to silence his stomach, and on the tail of his swallow he says, ]

You don't have to do it to keep me. You know that. But if you do, I will be glad.

[bouchonne]

[ He picks up the bread and tears off a piece, then holds it to Bastien's lips. Feeding him tenderly. ]

I don't think that you'll leave me.

[ A confession that draws a crooked little smile from him; he also can't help adding - ]

Because I'm well convinced you're mad enough to stay. [ Lest it be forgotten: ] You fought a dragon.

[cozen]

[ Bastien's prevented from arguing by his bite of bread, first, and then by the fact that By deserves to have dragons fought for him. ]

It was a lot less scary than the alternative. A world without your eyes. Your humor and your music and your heart.